Andy Patton/ Indiana/ Romantic/ Unicorn

Hey puddins, name's Andy Patton of Hammond, Indiana. I'm single, lonely, poor and most times can't afford ramen. its been 4yrs having not fucked a woman mainly scarred from heartbreak but also i seek love and not fingerbangs, i'm a novelist of over a dozen books (details in my publshed folder on my facebook .com/boathopper page, add me) I have 800+ short films,15 are pretty good, you'd have to type 'andyp's short films' to see some on multiple accounts, i'm always deleted, a rebel on youtube, i have a hellraiser script at hellraisernightshines.yolasite.com, another tumblr at clivedavinciromance , i had a script in hollywood bounced around called boathopper which is science fiction about a monster slamming into our oceans, but the serial killer described in it is identical and predates the 'dexter' book and show, and yes its copywritten just like the rest of my sampled work, stephen king even samples me, to see more about the dexter narrative and incredible journey your detections could take just youtube 'andyp's arduous travels of an unrenound serial killer'. my body is caked and dented in scars, lacerations and holes because i'm a good person, a strong person, doing good things in a horrible place.i'm was entering a finished 3rd horror feature into sundance but its incomplete, i made it by myself in a empty building when i was homeless, its under 'sundancers andyp's' on youtube, the 2nd part is the best, my 1st two features were generic slashers and don't count as serious, i'm finishing up another book, a fantasy novel i think will be bigger than harry potter...i WILL become larger than stephen king, and you wonder why i choose such a high totum to climb other than a smaller horror writer? well its because i've finished libraries of writing, novels and shorts, all the decades i've been alone and sad in a dark room as an introvert, what is dormant, and what is almost accomplished is more thatn king, almost, i need a few green miles and stand by me's first, and then i need a few other stories and books and i will have achieved more elaborate words than star wars or marvel combined, i just have to get them seen is all, tha'ts the hard/easy part......i hang out with my gay friends in portage, they're all i have in my life, my mexican bestie is leaving ot vegas, i don't have any other real friends, and no family left, i'm just all alone in the world, i drive a stupid car i spraypainted purple, i act like a retard because i want to filter through phony uptight people, i want a real cool, good girl, who doesn't fuck everyone like everyone in society does, i want a lover and rebel and fighter, not someone who's ordinary like my ex who breaks hearts and breaks herself off pieces of dick at any whim, i haven't kissed a girl in over 2 years. I'm not a sleazeball, i've only had 3serious long relationships, that means i've only had sex with 3 people, no additional fingerbangs or buttfuckings, maybe i kissed ten more girls, but that's it. I say heartfelt poems or perversion after almost every pic i reblog, so the history of my tumblr is quite a reading adventure. I'm a horror writer, here is a link to my newest collection of stories http://www.lulu.com/shop/andrew-patton/reflections-in-the-dark/paperback/product-20340079.html I'm an animal activist.gay rights activist, civil rights activist and women's rights activist, BUT I despise stupid groups of people like most feminists, most bisexuals, most of what p.e.t.a does, truth anti smoking commercials, etc, because these consist mainly of spoiled brats doing nothing, not being in any form of fight, just a lap of luxery, forcing their beliefs or ways of life on you even if they are the most insane selfish things imagineable, like i actually argue with people who do gangbangs and have swinger parties, could they honestly justify that disgusting shit to me, do it on your own time and leave me out of your sexcapades, i'm the most fucked up person alive, stranger by far of any human alive, i have an imaginative mind but i also have social skills, i know what its like being lonesome its why i hate when people just fuck tons of others, they spit at something i wish i had, they are gluttonous. My idols are Clive Barker, i made my art collection entirely out of scratch but i had him in mind to impress him, and i also made a book of short stories like his books of blood, i'm very similar to him, a huge fan, but it wasn't on purpose, its weird, its liked he fucked my mom in the 70's before he went gay or something, Stephen King, Kenny Hotz, Wayne Pacelle of the hspca, and others, even steve o and tom green. i'm the poorest person i know, yet i give my singles to bums, i'm selfless, i'm lazy, but when i have ambition like someone helping me, i'll create milestones. i make all my videos mostly in this loft at my moms house, i'm stuck here until my federal probation is up, not like i'll go anywhere else unless i get mental disability, i have no drive in life for average shit, i'm a creator, not an assembly line worker, i don't need the shit that money can buy, i'd never go to disneyland again even if someone bought me a package cause i think its extravagent and there are kids that will never see that place, i'd let them go in my place. i dislike snooty superficial people who act like they are better than you and are mean and bully and act like they're cool, when really they are fucking ignorant whiny brats in college or some shit trying to find their identities; they are jackoffs. so beware if you get offended by something i say, which is almost always a joke, cause i'll outdebate you and i'm VERY mean to bullies who get used to being tools in their normal lives with normal people, cause i'm not normal, i'm elite, cream of the crop, super large penis machoman, and i'm wittier, funnier and fucking the coolest fuck you'll ever know period, so bitches on their periods stand no chance either. My trolling book is blowing up, its sold 43 copies now, i've made it cheaper, black & white, so i'm making money now, DON'T USE CREATESPACE they are not creative friendly. you can find my large magazine type trolling book here.. http://www.lulu.com/shop/andrew-patton/trolling-101/paperback/product-20324152.html I've been raised by women without a father, i'm very feminine but strong, so don't turn me into an angry woman that will tell you off, but it takes alot to even get me mad, it just may seem i'm mad cause i'm pretty creative and outspoken, but really, i just laugh at your insults and bullying and i destroy anything you shit out with my verbal reckonings. I don't think i'm better than anyone, i'm kind to everyone, and that's what opens my mouth in the first place, is people attacking me or trying to bully me, it reminds me of how they could be doing it do someone else, like a gay kid, a black person, a woman, and it pisses me off. scene kids are the worst, almost like nazis cause they are a form of upper rich caste system that thinks they're better and they get snobby and uptight and its fucking annoying. I'm faithful,, sometimes romantic, sometimes funny genuine human. I dob not have anything in common with humans, I feel I'm more intelligent and its a burden being in a way, an ugly duckling. But I relate to morons too, because I am a stupid moron sometimes, I'm silly like that. next month i will have seen 10 psychiatrists in my life yet there's nothing even wrong with me.I'm the kind of person who would volunteer his head to a row of nazis so that others may live, i'm selfless. I'm also the kind of person who would be the ONLY one to stand up and risk not being hidden anymore, risk being killed by those nazis just to stand up to them. I'm a leader. I've led 100 of the world's worst maniacs in a jail cell for a year, I was on the back of a 7ft nigerian man preventing him from killing someone, I was a good person in a bad place, like jesus walking this shitty earth. Upon an apoclypse in 2012 i can lead the world to peace. i'm also the kind of person that is a fighter, i can be on my bloody knees before a dozen nazis and slice all their throats in moments before they know what's happening. I've only been with 3 girls, all long relationships and am still looking for my true soul mate on this planet, I've scavenged billions of galaxies looking and my search has ended here. You're here somewhere, I sense you. My ex got me put in jail to become a pornstar? She sent a threat to Kevin Spacey's website. The fuckers stole my movie 'The Thing' but made it shitty, read my synopsis or script at thethingfromanotherworld.webs.com. 2nd time feds kicked in my door, guns blazing, I told them my gf had shaved a penis in my chest hair, which she really did the night before, they looked and laughed and withdrew their guns out of our faces, I basically saved that crazy ex ponrstar, tattood bitch's life with my wittiness and her stupid art project she did on me when she was bored. Plus, having a lifesize darth maul figurine at the foot of my bed didn't really solidify to these saps I was a real serial murderer. I'm a handyman and can do just about anything, I'm currently building a movie set for my next silly video. I type 100 words a minute. I'm great with my mind, hands and dignity and I apply those things to women. I'm the most compassionate person alive or who has ever lived. I'm a registered rehabber wih the D.N.R. of Indiana. I"m incredible in all sports. I love spending time with someone I love watching movies and going out to eat, just waiting on that right girl. I have a bachelor's in English, and an associates from Minneapolis in Art instruction, but I'm happy with being a loser, being poor and having no future, I'm just trying to manage every day on this shitty planet, being a very lonely wise thing. I've been to California a dozen times in the last 2 years and not for vacation or my own accord (long story). I'm VERY down to earth and give great advice. If I could go to Chipotle daily I would, but I have no girl in my life, no significant other, no waddling penguin, no friend to hold my hand. i do like a girl alot, but i realize how fucked up i am, sometimes i don't even want to get out of bed, i'd need her to understand what its like to be lonesome and depressed, i really miss holding someone. we're all doomed to die, it sucks, i'm just trying to make my life as comfortable as possible with the little means i have, hopefully they'll put me on mental disability and i can continue my writing without having to work shit jobs to make ends meet, or save for a date with a girl and it never happens anyways go to a few of my sites myspace.com/andyp6 or Andy's Facebook link is below, its facebook.com/boathopper i have a new myspace account but rarely use it
clivedavinci: i wish i had a little yoshi in my life to ride-a-long with man, i’m a fat hairy italian afterall, i’mma marrrio, in a way, its like the movie the notebook, i’m fixing up the place i reside, for a girl to be in comfort, i don’t have hot water, don’t need it, surely i’d get it if i had someone in my life, doing tile work that isn’t my responsibility, but doing it nonetheless, what am i working towards? nobody likes me, let alone loves me or wants to be with me

clivedavinci: i wish i had a little yoshi in my life to ride-a-long with man, i’m a fat hairy italian afterall, i’mma marrrio, in a way, its like the movie the notebook, i’m fixing up the place i reside, for a girl to be in comfort, i don’t have hot water, don’t need it, surely i’d get it if i had someone in my life, doing tile work that isn’t my responsibility, but doing it nonetheless, what am i working towards? nobody likes me, let alone loves me or wants to be with me

(via coinfarts)

4gifs:

Go away kid I’m trying to be fabulous. [video]

clivedavinci: inarguably, this is me, i’m grand, i’m a lot more widened from what i actually am, its just projectionsism, i’m really just a bright blue being feeling blue, and then there’s all the silly pussies patting around me and fucking with my feathers n shit, i just want a best friend to come closer to me is all, so i can close my wings and envelop someone in a hug…. i’m just gonna go man, i gotta meet my other boss in the morning before i go to work for my uncle, some people i’m gonna meet, they’re gonna spend the night or some shit at my place for a few days, then they’ll leave when i leave i guess so i don’t have to install a padlock on my room or move anything, i don’t really need all that furnniture i got, i probably won’t even sleep on that bed, just leave it stacked like dominoes in my room, i like my little twin bed that my sister’s sister gave me, it fits on my car, i can move it if i have to, i’m probably gonna stay the entire winter at my place for now, go to habitat for humanity or a recycling center to get some paint, hopefully a cool color, i’m almost done tiling the bathroom, there’s no water in there, had to shut it all off because i finallly got the stem out of the tub, hope its not gonna be more than 10 bucks n shit, i gotta go do some creative shit i thought of for my other boss on his house, i fixed the basement problem i guess, but the torrential downpours fuck everyone, he doesn’t want a lick of water down there ever, no matter if the world floods like noah’s ark n shit, so i had an idea, instead of sealing the outside of his walls, digging forever n shit, i’ll just put multiple layers of plastic, on the sloped ground, i’ll grade it towards his swimming pool, the entire back yard, which isn’t that wide or long, its just alot of raking, then put the plastic in the entirety of that space, then gravel all on top, or maybe a landscaping fabric first since gravel is pointy and can create holes n shit, so then, it would be one huge slide, and all the water woudl jsut flow towards the pool n shit, i told him the rainfall is double over there because the car business’ huge ass gutter fell off years ago, which was around the time he’d gotten these problems, but i guess the dudes aren’t fixing it, and i don’t have a ladder big enough to go sneak and fix it n shit, i’m gonna go to little caesars man and get a pepperoni, i might have an easy day tomorrow, sometimes when my uncle don’t have shit to do he’ll still make me work, but i might get to do a workshop on my car n shit, i’ll still get paid n shit, i do need brakes man, and i don’t have the time to look at my brake lights n shit, i can even get under there and butt-up the catalytic that’d come loose aparently, its kind loud again, i already fixed my muffler a year ago, god my car was so loud and awesome the cops always pulled me over and told me to fix it n shit, i took all my gay friends/girlfriends to chicago with it one day, god, we didn’t do shit that day, but the drive t here and back was so fuck, i could rev up my stupid car and have its muffler coughing so loud that it’d get people’s attention on the sidewalks like we’re a bunch of assholes, it was like the funniest times, i miss all of them, i always go to hang out with my friend britney too, it sucked she was more lesbo than she was into me, she was a literal girlfriend that could’ve been more, i like hanging out with girls man, i’m a girl myself n shit

(via bunnyfood)

clivedavinci: like i’m so sure her entire bottom half silhouette is just one big enormous ass n shit, like, she isn’t even a person, she’s just described as one big butt and lips and a wallet, which probably can’t even fit in her back pocket because her ass is too big it’d pop it right back out n shit, that chick is gay man, i kinda know when i’m being made fun of, and still, even if its in good humor n shit, since i’m a ‘character’ and i make people laugh just by the way i am, still, i don’t care, i’ve been quite intrusive into people’s lives in fact, sure its all on my own shit, and the people watching me are the actual creeps stalking me instead of vice versa, but still, its like i give people the key to my chambers to come in and stab me n shit, i can’t even muster myself to even glance at that chick man, she’s just another heartbreaker, instead of a heartmaker and a heartmender, i think she’s just a trouble maker, i mean what young person doesn’t want nice things said about them n shit? it sucks that she didn’t actually understand that the things i said were real, its a shame the only time she’ll understand that in fact is when she’s much older and has gone a few laps around life before she understands what’s important and what isn’t, like our situation isn’t even really the both of us being shy at all, its just that the world hurts me, and at several intervals she’d been part of its cogs turning and crushing me, i’m glad i made her feel nice, glad i gave her a little romance, but i mean, my shit is real, i don’t wanna just entertain people, i want it to matter, i wanna matter to someone specificially, i wanna be able to go and hug someone who’s so important to me in my life, or pick up the phone and just talk when i’m feeling blue, or when someone needs my ear, i want a girl who’s gonna stand up for me and stand by her man, not be the typical fluizee, the fucking mayor of east chicago and a detective parked right next to my car at menards in hammond in seperate cars, they were observing my car and then saw me approaching because i went in there really quick, it could just be circumstance, but its probably because i’m a motivator in subtle ways, since my address is on my car n shit, and probably the things i say don’t bide well, not just saying stupid criminal shit aobut the city, but the maniacal shit i’m always saying about myself, they probably wanna curb the next huge murderous event or some shit, because murders are bad for business, just because i say i’m suicidal guys and that i know how to hack and i wanna find someone and fist fight them if i have to if they’re a loudmouth redneck doesn’t mean i go around killing people, i have invented dexter before the books ever came out, but i’m not a serial murderer, i do know how to find people, like i just found out my ex taddled on my video, i didn’t even have to waste my life and hack though, i just figured it out on the drive, because the video was taddled on once i put my ‘over it’ video, which doesn’t necessarily depict crissy as a huge camwhore compared to the other slutshaming vids i’ve put of her, but because something correlates to her sentimentality in that video about how our lives used to be, and she tried getting it banned before and she couldn’t, so she goes to the next best thing, to piss me off, to make herself pertinent in my life, which she isn’t, she coud’ve gotten married to one of her clients for all i know and i wouldn’t know because i don’t care to know, and tdhen me and danny borders are badmouthing her n shit, and that’s when she went and taddled on my video again, she’s so retarded, like, get out of my life, i’m on my own fucxking wall minding my own business, go on your fuckpal escapades with creeps and strangers for money and pleasure, like do i care about you doing that dumb shit? no, so leave me the fuck alone faggot… i kinda know when i’m being watched n shit, i know cops probably gotta keep an eye on things in general, but the entire focus sometimes just feels like its all me n shit, like, its a fucking gym, think of how many scumbags actually go there n shit? i’ve been going there for years man, i’m not gonna just snap or some shit, hell, i’m so lame i won’t even build up the nerve to talk to anyone, and i mean anyone, its a shame the shitty town of schererville not one fucking person ever talked to me, what a bunch of fucking creeps, and the couple times they had, it was to single me out n shit one way or another, its so fucking gay, and i’m so much bigger than that, i love east chicago man, and its not that i think i’m the baddest motherfucker in the world, its not that i’m some asshole, or that i’m ever mean, even to people who’d been mean before, i’m the nicest guy ever, so its not me at all man, this woman the other day noticed my exorcist shirt, she’s the first fucking person to say something aboutd it, even if she woud’ve called it gay, like, she spoke like a normal fucking person n shit, there’s other things i see that are pluses for humanity, there’s some russian dude with a disentegrated hat he wears, where all his locks of hair show through the hat n shit, like its so bizarre and weird, but its different, its unique, its his swag, and its cool, and then there’s another younger kid with a line shaved in his part like mine, but it swings all the way behind his head like a swiveled halo, i just like seeing shit like that, i like seeing individuality, its great man, i know i’m th emost boring person, i do the same routines n shit, but i’m not really, i’m so original its not even funny, i’m just stuck,and the only routines i wanna maintain are my h ealth at the gym and when i find my girlfriend someday; her, i want us to have ‘some’ routines ya know,if she wants to take showers together, if she wants to go into a monthly routine of having sex the same way or something, i love routines when it comes to being beside another person in your life, those are the only routines i want, i want to always be challenged for the most part, i want to always bring new things into my life, just not fuck partners n shit, hell, i’d like to meet so many cool people from my facebook man, they seem like they’d be great friends, its not that i’m selfish with myself in wanting to just keep the friends i have, like mathew broderick did in cable guy to jim carrey, to the point of actually telling him, but because funds mitigate my courses through t his life, plus my laziness does, most times i don’t wanna go out and have slut times with booze n shit, i just get lonely and wanna dwell on a life with a girlfriend again, beacuse in all my life, with all my stupidities that was the greatest thing i’d ever felt, not the booze and the friends or how cool i fit into posses n shit, it was the 4 yrs i was with crissy that really escape my desires man, it sucks i’m without that now, and not with someone better, it sucks i gotta go home to my little apartment without electricity, with a flashlight to lamp the way for just one, like why couldn’t it be two? why couldn’t i guide the way for my baby, and be uncaring for myself at getting lost in the dark for bites of time, i really want a girlfriend n shit, but i’m not gonna just settle on boning some broad, i want someone special, and i thought i’d had somone, but i’m just a game, i’m just something to do, i’m entertainable, i’m like a fucking bouncy house to be inflated and bounced on n shit and then thrown into a dusty moldy shed n shit and be forgotten about at that times i really need to stand strong and bouncy, i want a girl who talks to me and who doesn’t just make fun of me n shit

(via ohhellyess)

clivedavinci: gonna cut the night short man,i gotta go and hack some shit at another location man, fucking people piss me the fuck off, and its probably some asshole i’ve never even fucking met before or seen, there’s so much shit inside people its not even funny, man, i can’t just relax and type some shit, i gotta fucking work longer hours when i’m off work n shit, i wish i could just take a week off of life but i gotta fucking work, it sucks, there’s more and more shit that keeps accumulating, i just don’t wanna be here, and yeah, it takes one fucking random fucking button pusher to piss me off and make me feel like shit, those kinds of people are the worst fucking people too man, i cannot fucking wait to find this ip man, and the jackoffs probably think they can hide it or some shit, guess what stalker asshole, its a fallacy t hat i will not find you

clivedavinci: gonna cut the night short man,i gotta go and hack some shit at another location man, fucking people piss me the fuck off, and its probably some asshole i’ve never even fucking met before or seen, there’s so much shit inside people its not even funny, man, i can’t just relax and type some shit, i gotta fucking work longer hours when i’m off work n shit, i wish i could just take a week off of life but i gotta fucking work, it sucks, there’s more and more shit that keeps accumulating, i just don’t wanna be here, and yeah, it takes one fucking random fucking button pusher to piss me off and make me feel like shit, those kinds of people are the worst fucking people too man, i cannot fucking wait to find this ip man, and the jackoffs probably think they can hide it or some shit, guess what stalker asshole, its a fallacy t hat i will not find you

(via bunnyfood)

clivedavinci: she was gay anyways, i would’ve always made her feel special, because she really was, but now she’s just special ed

(via laughbitches)

funnywildlife:

Oh, no! He’s going to belly flop by Grant Dixon Photography

clivedavinci: just get away andy, focus on yourself man, its like fucking torture anyways looking at all this shit, i’m not gonna look anymore, hopefully i can go longer than 2 weeks this time, surely if someone starts talking to me i’ll never look back, while all the lemmings jump off the cliff and do what all the others are doing, sometimes its good to dive, at the times they don’t leap off and are congregating and together, just do you andy, you’re all you’re ever gonna have in your life anyways man, maybe one of those senioritas at the mexican parade will walk up and down your street now having eyefucked the shit out of you, they were probably like ‘oh damn there’s some hot ass white meat in this bucket of dark meat chicken’ yeah that’s right baby, but i’m not into any ordinary culo, please girl that pops into my life, please be undicked, please don’t be around dudes n shit and hope dudes win your heart n shit and win your vagina, please be a girl that believes in love and wants to dive head first into all the waves i can crash into you… fuck tenderizer hurry up and upload man i gotta turns some of this flab into fab

clivedavinci: you need to keep your options open andy, the world doesn’t have anymore unicorns in it anyways, play the field, go for girls who like you and talk to you n shit, live your life a little bit, quit being a whiny faithful bitch all the time, don’t you see what gets girls? just fucking man, status gets girls, just hit the clubs this weekend with/without anyone, just go by yourself and pick up the hottest girl and makeout with her all fucking night man, you have your own place to take bitches to anyways, fuck that love shit, just hold what you possess and take it to another world someday where it would be meaningful, because none of these faggots on this rock called earth have the potential of love inside them, all they have inside them are average smelly used up dicks, so give the hottest girls a thrill and fuck them with great dick for once in their lives andy, do it for the ladies, not yourself, i’m not a selfish man

(via kindahippies)

clivedavinci: i don’t think she’s loose in her loins, or there’s bustlings going on under her bustle, i just get jealous, when you think about someone all day long in your shitty little life, where they’re the only constant joy you feel, and then you see shit where other dudes are swooping in, i dunno, it hurts n shit, maybe most times i’m just jumping to conclusions, like that jumping to conclusions mat from that dorky worker guy from the movie ‘office space’ which is the best work movie ever, maybe i mix up the twines of all thats happening how she’s not going to the gym on my days n shit, and how dudes are poking her and she likes it and wants them back in her life and is probably curious about dating someone who gave the cold shoulder to, i have no idea what to think, do you fuckin blame me? she’s not in my life, i have every right to worry, just for the mere fact that i’m just a joke, a jester to her rather than a possible suitor, i don’t wanna wait around for nothing ya know, i’m not getting any younger, any less lonelier, i like she’s at home all the time all alone, i love that so much, i love seeing kittens and mittens and slippers, i love seeing her comfy, having kitty cats hanging in the pocket of jammies like a fat guy resting in a hammock, na, fuck that andy, she wants to cuddle with some dude that she thinks really likes her, she’s so fucking retarded and young she doesn’t realize guys wanna chill with her and fuck her huge ass and tits and then dump her again, that’s all they care about, i mean, at her school, who’s that buff man? c’mon, she’s a conquest to brand for the guys, they probably are waging bets on the shit i wouldn’t doubt, not because they care, but just because she’s different and probably impossible to get, that hardens boys dicks, well, at least up until they get to fuck her that is, i’m outta here man, she wants that shit but wants me in her back pocket it seems, fuck that shit, adios pepita

(via thisisnotmyfairytaleendingg)

kushandwizdom:

ThisLoveQuote

clivedavinci: i don’t know what i’m ever thinking man, a young girl wants popsickle penises popped in her mouth to suck on, all kinds of different flavors n shit, dudes that poke them on fb n shit, and snap chat with them all day, she’s probably hooking back up with some dude she banged or something, a dude that broke her heart and only likes her now because she has a huge ass, young people are faggots and like each other for all the wrong reasons, so let em mingle and tingle each other, i give a fuck, like who am i anyways? i’m nobody, i don’t get any rings on my phone from anyone, i don’t have anyone saying hello or chatting me, i gotta find someone new man, maybe that ashley will go out with me, don’t know about that either, if someone wanted me they’d try ya know,i gotta hit the gym after i take a shower right now, back to my routine of gayness man

(via peelbanana)

clivedavinci: kinda, i wish i could pretend i was machisimo, and suave and slick, and that i prolonged our little convo when she came up to me all that time ago, she had the courage to talk, but i blew it, that was a time where nothing could’ve happend anyways, but now…nows the time, i just wish i get another chance is all, i’ll try so hard to not be nervous, i’ll try so hard to say cheesy things ya know….. starbucks is closed, its nice to go to a home ya know, its even nice to come here and just relax and sit and type away, and now i’m in my car, my little hermetic space, saying my farwells to you, until i get to see you again, which will feel like its forever, i miss you so much you have no idea, i hope there’s a day where you’ll miss me, where we’re together hugging and moving on each other in our sweaters and we get so used to it, just kissing all night, and you can’t wait to look forward to seeing me again, the last time i got to experience that was with my friend ashley from valpo i kinda dated, everyday she called me, everyday she said she missed me so much, she missed my smell and how i felt, i was big and cuddly for her, it didn’t last, i kinda didn’t want it to, she didn’t really seem to care either, but i just wish i could matter to someone, for someone to say that she misses me, she wants to see me again and again, man i miss you, just seeing you go about your day, have a fun weekend, or a dull one, at least be safe and comfy, i’ll see ya later jessica

(via fingerss-crosseddd)

clivedavinci: lol, one of the new episodes of trailer park boys that netflix produced, that dude steals an industrial air conditioning unit from a building and puts it on his trailer, and he freezes overnight, and everyone runs inside to save him, and he still had a joint in his mouth, and they lit it, hoping and praying, and he inhaled the puff of the joint and he was saved, its so stupid

clivedavinci: lol, one of the new episodes of trailer park boys that netflix produced, that dude steals an industrial air conditioning unit from a building and puts it on his trailer, and he freezes overnight, and everyone runs inside to save him, and he still had a joint in his mouth, and they lit it, hoping and praying, and he inhaled the puff of the joint and he was saved, its so stupid

(via deadniggastorage)

noodlesonmyback:

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clivedavinci: that looks like one of those face generator things where two people are blended into each other, like the age progression shit or something, they look like the same person n shit, i would be writing short stories more, but i’m doing a lot of research n shit, there’s a lot of shit that pops up when i write that i can’t proceed because i gotta do fact finding n shit, its a ghost story with teddy roosevelt and it’s pretty cool and so original, i could even make it, and maybe i will if i can do a roadtrip to a ghost town someday, ther’es a bunch in midwest indiana, hey, do you still wanna go drive to see that builder bitch? dm3 or whatever the fuck her name is, damn the tickets are 125 bucks? for what? is that bitch serious, the queen of england don’t even charge that shit, aerosmith doesn’t even charge that shit, man you’re stronger than that old bitch anyways, how about i pay you for a date and at the end of it i get an autograph from you? baby, can you sign my lips? baby, i’m sick of all this sign language we’re doing, i wanna see you, i wanna hear you, i’m just gonna go to ultra and get some shit to hold me over for the weekend man, i’ll be watching trailer park boys and falling skies and movies i guess, then come monday go to work and hit the gym after

(via the-absolute-funniest-posts)

clivedavinci: DAMN!! look at that fucking shit man, my future gf can beat your fucking ass, that arm and back isn’t like a chicken wing, its like a rooster wing, its like chiseled granite, unsmoothed, all the dents holding the shading from the light, fucking perfect man, god her butt is so big, i hate that its so big and awesome and the guys and the tools wanna slap it, because i wanna slap it and squeeze it and kiss it and grab it as i’m moving her on my faster and faster, they’re my handlebars, man i want her to hold me down teaching me a lesson in physics like iggly izalea, god my girl is so fucking tough looking i fear she’s gonna mess up her knuckles because she looks like she wants to punch her fist right through that glass, i’d never give you a reason to jess, i’d always try and make you feel loved, i’d always be faithful to you, i’d always try and make you happy when you’re so sad, i’m not ever gonna fuck you over, i’m just gonna fuck you over and over, i wanna take you on countless dates and loaf around for countless hours, i know you’re not playing games with me, some of the things you’ve said pertain directly to me, i still don’t know why we’re apart, i guess the timing is off, i guess its a waiting game huh? i guess we have to wait a little while longer and then a moment might arise where you try huh? please try, please be creative, that is if you do’nt wanna do it the easy way online, i mean, we’ve gone through so much shit already, isn’t it time for us to just relax and tell each other our feelings and just be cool with each other and talk a bit so i can ask you out, i’d win a date with you if you talked to me online, i swear i would

clivedavinci: DAMN!! look at that fucking shit man, my future gf can beat your fucking ass, that arm and back isn’t like a chicken wing, its like a rooster wing, its like chiseled granite, unsmoothed, all the dents holding the shading from the light, fucking perfect man, god her butt is so big, i hate that its so big and awesome and the guys and the tools wanna slap it, because i wanna slap it and squeeze it and kiss it and grab it as i’m moving her on my faster and faster, they’re my handlebars, man i want her to hold me down teaching me a lesson in physics like iggly izalea, god my girl is so fucking tough looking i fear she’s gonna mess up her knuckles because she looks like she wants to punch her fist right through that glass, i’d never give you a reason to jess, i’d always try and make you feel loved, i’d always be faithful to you, i’d always try and make you happy when you’re so sad, i’m not ever gonna fuck you over, i’m just gonna fuck you over and over, i wanna take you on countless dates and loaf around for countless hours, i know you’re not playing games with me, some of the things you’ve said pertain directly to me, i still don’t know why we’re apart, i guess the timing is off, i guess its a waiting game huh? i guess we have to wait a little while longer and then a moment might arise where you try huh? please try, please be creative, that is if you do’nt wanna do it the easy way online, i mean, we’ve gone through so much shit already, isn’t it time for us to just relax and tell each other our feelings and just be cool with each other and talk a bit so i can ask you out, i’d win a date with you if you talked to me online, i swear i would

clivedavinci: lets be lazy fucking assholes man, lets just meld with the cushions, indent the mattress for so many hours that it has to be flipped later that night, lets loaf so much we warm the room in farts lol, no, lets be so fucking lazy all day that none of the chores or homeworks are ever done, none of the lifting is ever done, but at the same time, the parents would be happy you’re always around, to do chores, to go to lifts, to get your homeworks done, we’d run errands all the time,we’d always be available, in time probably huh? it’d be some getting used to, me, an older boy, such a weird one, caring about the daughter so much, but in time i’d grow on people, i’m really funny and i have manners, and all i wanna do is be with you, i’d become affixed into your life, conjoined, and you’d be permenantly on me all the time, like a zit, like a tumor on my butt babes, you could spend the night all the time, i wanna roll around in bed with you and have the hours slip and fall away like autumn leaves, don’t be afraid of dating me, don’t be afraid you might love me, allow it, i promise i’ll do my best okay?

(via fuckingcuddle)

thatfunnyblog:

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clivedavinci: tbh, you can say how many times you watch gilmore girls and i’d still be super infatuated with you, you’re a girly girl, you’re so fucking pretty its not natural, that one quote about taking risks is kinda gay though man, guess who takes all those risks?douchebags, a world and opportunities filled with them, confidence doesn’t mean shit, i know, i’m around unlimitied doucheery in my life, i see the ways they use the force like jedis but they’re really sith lords, like if you want risk and confidence, that’s not me, but it is me, i’ve tried so hard and long for you, don’t you think its about time for you to make a leap for once man? sure you have online a little, but not in person, hell i’ve had to show my face after so many bouts with you where you bruised my heard and boxed up my face like a boxer, and i still showed my face against so much odds, it was so hard but i kept living and i even kept trying for you, grows some balls, sure you have the biggest ones in the world liftintg all your weights, but you haven’t lifted the heaviest 5 pound weight yet, not one curl yet, my five pound heart, that’s more like a chunk of dark matter, a chunk that science is theorized to weight more than all the cars and trucks on earth, amazing huh? again, so are you sweetpants