AndyPatton of Indiana. your destiny

Hey there poopy, my name's Andy Patton of Hobart, Indiana. I'm single & lonely, haven't kissed a girl in over 2 years. I'm not a sleazeball, i've only had 3serious long relationships, that means i've only had sex with 3 people, no additional fingerbangs or buttfuckings, maybe i kissed ten more girls, but that's it. I say heartfelt poems or perversion after almost every pic i reblog, so the history of my tumblr is quite a reading adventure, you can't tell just by looking at the archive though, you'd have to slowly click back through time. I'm a horror writer, animal activist.gay rights activist, civil rights activist and women's rights activist, BUT I despise stupid groups of people like most feminists, most bisexuals, most of what p.e.t.a does, truth anti smoking commercials, etc, because these consist mainly of spoiled brats doing nothing, not being in any form of fight, just a lap of luxery, being a scene kid or something, and having snootiness to act like they are better than you and are mean and bully and at like they're cool, when really they are fucking ignorant whiny brats in college or some shit trying to find their identities; they are jackoffs. so beware if you get offended by something i say, which is almost always a joke, cause i'll outdebate you and i'm VERY mean to bullies who get used to being tools in their normal lives with normal people, cause i'm not normal, i'm elite, cream of the crop, super large penis machoman, and i'm wittier, funnier and fucking the coolestg fuck you'll ever know period, so bitches on their periods stand no chance either. I've been raised by women without a father, i'm very feminine but strong, so don't turn me into an angry woman that will tell you off, but it takes alot to even get me mad, it just may seem i'm mad cause i'm pretty creative and outspoken, but really, i just laugh at your insults and bullying and i destroy anything you shit out with my verbal reckonings. I don't think i'm better than anyone, i'm kind to everyone, and that's what tat opens my mouth in the first place, is people attacking me or trying to bully me, it reminds me of how they could be doing it do someone else, like a gay kid, a black person, a woman, and it pisses me off. scene kids are the worst, almost like nazis cause they are a form of upper rich caste system that thinks they're better and they get snobby and uptight and its fucking annoying. I'm faithful,, sometimes romantic, bsometimes funny genuine human. I dob not have anything in common with humans, I feel I'm more intelligent and its a burden being in a way, an ugly duckling. But I relate to morons too, because I am a stupid moron sometimes, I'm silly like that. I've seen 9 psychiatrists in my life yet there's nothing even wrong with me.I'm the kind of person who would volunteer his head to a row of nazis so that others may live, i'm selfless. I'm also the kind of person who would be the ONLY one to stand up and risk not being hidden anymore, risk being killed by those nazis just to stand up to them. I'm a leader. I've led 100 of the world's worst maniacs in a jail cell for a year, I was on the back of a 7ft nigerian man preventing him from killing someone, I was a good person in a bad place, like jesus walking this shitty earth. Upon an apoclypse in 2012 i can lead the world to peace. i'm also the kind of person that is a fighter, i can be on my bloody knees before a dozen nazis and slice all their throats in moments before they know what's happening. I've only been with 3 girls, all long relationships and am still looking for my true soul mate on this planet, I've scavenged billions of galaxies looking and my search has ended here. You're here somewhere, I sense you. My ex got me put in jail to become a pornstar? She sent a threat to Kevin Spacey's website. The fuckers stole my movie 'The Thing' but made it shitty, read my synopsis or script at thethingfromanotherworld.webs.com. 2nd time feds kicked in my door, guns blazing, I told them my gf had shaved a penis in my chest hair, which she really did the night before, they looked and laughed and withdrew their guns out of our faces, I basically saved that crazy ex ponrstar, tattood bitch's life with my wittiness and her stupid art project she did on me when she was bored. Plus, having a lifesize darth maul figurine at the foot of my bed didn't really solidify to these saps I was a real serial murderer. I'm a handyman and can do just about anything, I'm currently building a movie set for my next silly video. I type 100 words a minute. I'm great with my mind, hands and dignity and I apply those things to women. I'm the most compassionate person alive or who has ever lived. I'm a registered rehabber wih the D.N.R. of Indiana. I"m incredible in all sports. I love spending time with someone I love watching movies and going out to eat, just waiting on that right girl. I have a bachelor's in English, and an associates from Minneapolis in Art instruction, but I'm happy with being a loser, being poor and having no future, I'm just trying to manage every day on this shitty planet, being a very lonely wise thing. I've been to California a dozen times in the last 2 years and not for vacation or my own accord (long story). I'm VERY down to earth and give great advice. If I could go to Chipotle daily I would, but I have no girl in my life, no significant other, no waddling penguin, no friend to hold my hand. go to a few of my sites myspace.com/andyp6 or Andy's Facebook/ Youtube links are below

starring andypatton

Bitchmade niegas

clivedavinci: i’m just a regular person, i’m afraid to make moves cause i get let down. i just want to be the person to randomly come up behind my girl and hug her, give her an adrenaline rush for a mere second as she feels my hands around her waist, she may think its the boogey man but its nothing to fear, its someone who’s scary away the boogey man for her a million times in a million dark places. to be held from behind is the best feeling ever, its like body language, someone telling you they love you so much, they care about you, they want to hug you by their own free will. i know as the man, it feels so great

(via c0uples)

10knotes:

TRYIGN TO BAKE COOKIES ON MY HOT FACE

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passive-aggr3ssive:

gpocm…
gratuitous portrait of carly’s marriage

clivedavinci: the idea of the perfect girl. not actually psychos though. i yell like an italian very rarely and draw creepy shit and am creepy, and the girl may do things alot different too, that just means we’re real, and we’re angry at the world and life cause its treated us horribly, cause it is horrible to many others, and cause it makes us alone. but what if the world is banging two people against each other nonstop waiting for them to connect and they never do, then shouldn’t we be the assholes?

clivedavinci: i don’t know what i could be for any woman? i’m so miserable in life i don’t even want to celebrate my birthday, even eat any cake, i don’t want the attention, thankfully there’s other people celebrating other holidays and such, things i don’t remember, but even if i did i wouldn’t really care, does that make me a lazy asshole? or maybe i just despise that person so much that week that i’m supposed to forget all that’s happend and sing joyously? in my past relationship i always tried to make her happy, but still we were country mice, we didn’t know too much, didn’t have tons of money to go traveling, her parents formed a canoe trip and even though i was exhausted from work i still went, as long as its just my company someone wants, i’ll be good, cause i’m faithful and i’m always there, but that’s not what the world consists up anymore. everyone has to do things big and hard, vegas, events, there’s so much i miss out on cause nobody invites me cause they know i don’t have tons of money. the sox game itself was 40 bucks and we didn’t even sit for a minute, we just stood talking to girls the whole time, but if my friends didn’t buy alcohol and churros i would’ve starved, i don’t mind, i purposely planned to go buy 10 dollar hotdogs, it was t he experience that mattered, just getting out. if i had someone with me, yeah sure i’d spend another 30-40 on them, but i wouldn’t eat, i try to save, so i can make someone else’s life better and memorable, i don’t need much, i just need someone. i’m never going to plant my seed inside a woman. i’ll probably never have my own house, and at some point i’ll only be living in apartments by myself with nobody in my life. but having someone with you accepting my dependency issues, accepting me for me, my weirdness, would be great. i don’t want a sugar momma, its not like that, i just don’t care about life, i’ve hit rock bottom so many times, i just don’t wnat to do much, i just want simple things, the real things, the best things. of course i can try and be a sensation but that’s not going to happen for some time, its work, and i must work to become something, cause if i can’t do anything on my own with my creativity i don’t wanna do anything else. one of the dozens of illnesses they say i have which i don’t think i have any, is dependency, cause i lived with my grandma my entire life. the way i look at it, she raised me and i loved her, so wtf? why did i NEED to leave and get my own fuckpad? i could’ve, i was rolling in money from my jobs, but i didn’t. i just live a different kind of lifestyle is all, and people frown upon it, and now i’m older and i should be ‘growing up’, but if growing up consists of a mortage (more money problems) and kids, then i want to part, i do what i want, and i want someone else in my life to become my life, i want a someone, i don’t want to make things appear out of thin air to make me happy, i just want to connect with someone already on the planet to make me happy, so i can make her happy. i guess i’d get married and all that shit one day, but i might only slow dance, i don’t wanna dry hump or be fake, i don’t wanna do speeches and shit, unless someone wants to do a speech of something i wrote. and my family nor i definately don’t have money for a wedding anyways. and if someone wanted to pay for it all, i might not even like that, cause i hate extravagence. family and friends, and even just a few people, and FOOD is all that matters, and being one with the girl you love, that’s what matters, not mahogany matching ties and shirts, that’s fucking gay and uneccesary. but most of the world lives like that, not that i wouldn’t be part of something like that, i have before, but i’m just not going to be initiating it is all i’m saying. the girl that will like me will have to be someone who thinks of herself as much as a loser as me, not that we are losers, but we have the same disgusted mindset of life in general, we could relate, we could be goth emo kids. she would have to be online all damned night looking for love, looking for people that don’t exist as do i. she don’t have to be super hot, but i have to admit, a pretty girl does attact me, also their kind natures, and if they have alot of pets, cause it shows compassion. if she’s awkward and sometimes mean and angry cause of being lonely, i can relate, i like that. i’m just saying, if ther’es a girl out there in the world, online the same time as me, as much as me, and we think about each other, from seeing a picture even, even if we just pop into each other’s heads, or during random conversation with our friends as we bring them up, still, all the time wasted annoyed, despondent, or jealous of each other or by our actions in our own private free lives…then why aren’t we sharing that time together? why can’t we make each other happy? even if its a bumpy road, even if its slow, even if there are obstacles. i’d do anything for the girl i like, and then, anything for the girl i loved. i don’t care what kind of click she’s in, what her flaws are, as long as she doesn’t bang guys and is nice, she’s all good. we never know who’s right in front of us, that we blow off, or ignore, that person could probably not be what they seem, that person could probably be everything we always wanted and we didn’t even know it, that person could suprise us. i want someone to love me and i want to love someone back, i’m very shy sometimes, i try not to annoy girls i like, but its also very hard to ignore the ones i absolutely adore because they aren’t interested in me or give me wrong signals. all a girl would have to do is talk to me, it gives me cart blanche then to express myself and make any moves since i’m ‘the man’ and must initiate the terms of a date. i wish someone would go see the alien movie with me when it comes out the 8th, and get something to eat, maybe oriental. i wish there was an awesome girl out there somewhere, i wish she lived close to me, i wish we could change each others minds about one another

(via c0uples)

(via loveisntacolor)

(via anicebabyforeverymeal)

clivedavinci: or anywhere else, shit. i wish i had a girlfriend, even if she don’t bone me. i hate being around lame people all the time. i wanna hang out with a girl who’s voice i enjoy cause it sounds so cool and cute, and watch her grub down tons of food cause i think she’s perfect and just want to make her happy. i’m like a lazy lion in the jungle laying down, but i don’t want any of these cougars or kittens walking around me for my 7 second spurts, i think i’ll hold off for another species all together, maybe even a little peacock, afterall, its not just fucking i’m looking for, i’m looking for someone to be my pal, and maybe love will transpire

(via chaystar)

[Flash 10 is required to watch video]

borntofadeaway:

imthejesusofsuburbia:

thedukeoflions:

hellyeahchandlerbing:

See what a group of engineers did to encourage people to use the stairs in Stockholm.
About 97% of the population took the escalator instead of the stairs.
A simple and fun idea to break the routine and encourage people into a more healthy habit.

SO COOL

hey that’s odenplan woop

but what would it sound like if you fell

clivedavinci: fun yes, but we give escalators a bad rap, they’re just convenient inventions. try walking around in los angeles for 12 hours, and then another 5 looking for rare magazines for the girl you love to suprise her, and walking in cheap shoes that blistered your feet just stepping off the plane before any of it began. but yes, fat people should walk more, i’m a rare circumstance where i couldn’t walk another step when i got home, she took my bag and helped me to the car, my feet were bleeding

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thefunniestpost:

Hysterical Blog!

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clivedavinci: the worst thing about life is that i’ll never get to know how this feels. i had a brief moment of butterflies a month or so ago, but it was over instantly, it wasn’t even real, i’ve liked people before, i’ve even ‘fell’ in love with a girl once and was with her for 4yrs, but that’s what it was, i ‘fell’ in love, like falling on a sidewalk and smashing all my pretty teeth, it was damaging, it was never real and i never had a single butterfly, i had more butterflies with all the beautiful things i wrote to her ‘after’ the breakup. so i’ve never had butterflies. even in my youth, i never got to ride in a car full of people and next to a pretty girl who’s leg brushed against mine. and now i’m old. so my life is over and i didn’t really get to see what love truly was

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clivedavinci: are they supposed to be sushi

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huffposttv:

Mesmerizing.

hplyrikz:

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clivedavinci: i entertained my buddies the entire time, i get so happy when i’m buzzed, but the buzz wore off right when some hot chicks hung out with us, i was all quiet, but one still seemed to take an interest possibly although she’s all over the other hotter younger guys, but maybe she was because i wasn’t talking as much, and she was trying to befriend us so she can get to know me. its my fear that she’s like everyone else, i think the craziest shit, but also, couldn’t it be true? we talked alot, i showed her my secret handshake even, but i didn’t get to talk like i wanted, she really made me feel awkward, that’s how pretty she was, and when i really like someone, and they’re with other dudes, it kinda hurts my feelings, its a glimpse of reality that hurts my feelings though really. plus it didn’t help i was on the ground every five seconds being hit in the nuts by my friends. they got her number, they said they’ll bring me up in a conversation to see what she says, but if its not the main reason she gave her number out, and i’m just another nice hot guy, i guess i’m moving on again in my shitty life

(via lelisa)

(via davidsreality)