Andy Patton/ Indiana/ Romantic/ Unicorn

Hey puddins, name's Andy Patton of Hammond, Indiana. I'm single, lonely, poor and most times can't afford ramen. its been 4yrs having not fucked a woman mainly scarred from heartbreak but also i seek love and not fingerbangs, i'm a novelist of over a dozen books (details in my publshed folder on my facebook .com/boathopper page, add me) I have 800+ short films,15 are pretty good, you'd have to type 'andyp's short films' to see some on multiple accounts, i'm always deleted, a rebel on youtube, i have a hellraiser script at hellraisernightshines.yolasite.com, another tumblr at clivedavinciromance , i had a script in hollywood bounced around called boathopper which is science fiction about a monster slamming into our oceans, but the serial killer described in it is identical and predates the 'dexter' book and show, and yes its copywritten just like the rest of my sampled work, stephen king even samples me, to see more about the dexter narrative and incredible journey your detections could take just youtube 'andyp's arduous travels of an unrenound serial killer'. my body is caked and dented in scars, lacerations and holes because i'm a good person, a strong person, doing good things in a horrible place.i'm was entering a finished 3rd horror feature into sundance but its incomplete, i made it by myself in a empty building when i was homeless, its under 'sundancers andyp's' on youtube, the 2nd part is the best, my 1st two features were generic slashers and don't count as serious, i'm finishing up another book, a fantasy novel i think will be bigger than harry potter...i WILL become larger than stephen king, and you wonder why i choose such a high totum to climb other than a smaller horror writer? well its because i've finished libraries of writing, novels and shorts, all the decades i've been alone and sad in a dark room as an introvert, what is dormant, and what is almost accomplished is more thatn king, almost, i need a few green miles and stand by me's first, and then i need a few other stories and books and i will have achieved more elaborate words than star wars or marvel combined, i just have to get them seen is all, tha'ts the hard/easy part......i hang out with my gay friends in portage, they're all i have in my life, my mexican bestie is leaving ot vegas, i don't have any other real friends, and no family left, i'm just all alone in the world, i drive a stupid car i spraypainted purple, i act like a retard because i want to filter through phony uptight people, i want a real cool, good girl, who doesn't fuck everyone like everyone in society does, i want a lover and rebel and fighter, not someone who's ordinary like my ex who breaks hearts and breaks herself off pieces of dick at any whim, i haven't kissed a girl in over 2 years. I'm not a sleazeball, i've only had 3serious long relationships, that means i've only had sex with 3 people, no additional fingerbangs or buttfuckings, maybe i kissed ten more girls, but that's it. I say heartfelt poems or perversion after almost every pic i reblog, so the history of my tumblr is quite a reading adventure. I'm a horror writer, here is a link to my newest collection of stories http://www.lulu.com/shop/andrew-patton/reflections-in-the-dark/paperback/product-20340079.html I'm an animal activist.gay rights activist, civil rights activist and women's rights activist, BUT I despise stupid groups of people like most feminists, most bisexuals, most of what p.e.t.a does, truth anti smoking commercials, etc, because these consist mainly of spoiled brats doing nothing, not being in any form of fight, just a lap of luxery, forcing their beliefs or ways of life on you even if they are the most insane selfish things imagineable, like i actually argue with people who do gangbangs and have swinger parties, could they honestly justify that disgusting shit to me, do it on your own time and leave me out of your sexcapades, i'm the most fucked up person alive, stranger by far of any human alive, i have an imaginative mind but i also have social skills, i know what its like being lonesome its why i hate when people just fuck tons of others, they spit at something i wish i had, they are gluttonous. My idols are Clive Barker, i made my art collection entirely out of scratch but i had him in mind to impress him, and i also made a book of short stories like his books of blood, i'm very similar to him, a huge fan, but it wasn't on purpose, its weird, its liked he fucked my mom in the 70's before he went gay or something, Stephen King, Kenny Hotz, Wayne Pacelle of the hspca, and others, even steve o and tom green. i'm the poorest person i know, yet i give my singles to bums, i'm selfless, i'm lazy, but when i have ambition like someone helping me, i'll create milestones. i make all my videos mostly in this loft at my moms house, i'm stuck here until my federal probation is up, not like i'll go anywhere else unless i get mental disability, i have no drive in life for average shit, i'm a creator, not an assembly line worker, i don't need the shit that money can buy, i'd never go to disneyland again even if someone bought me a package cause i think its extravagent and there are kids that will never see that place, i'd let them go in my place. i dislike snooty superficial people who act like they are better than you and are mean and bully and act like they're cool, when really they are fucking ignorant whiny brats in college or some shit trying to find their identities; they are jackoffs. so beware if you get offended by something i say, which is almost always a joke, cause i'll outdebate you and i'm VERY mean to bullies who get used to being tools in their normal lives with normal people, cause i'm not normal, i'm elite, cream of the crop, super large penis machoman, and i'm wittier, funnier and fucking the coolest fuck you'll ever know period, so bitches on their periods stand no chance either. My trolling book is blowing up, its sold 43 copies now, i've made it cheaper, black & white, so i'm making money now, DON'T USE CREATESPACE they are not creative friendly. you can find my large magazine type trolling book here.. http://www.lulu.com/shop/andrew-patton/trolling-101/paperback/product-20324152.html I've been raised by women without a father, i'm very feminine but strong, so don't turn me into an angry woman that will tell you off, but it takes alot to even get me mad, it just may seem i'm mad cause i'm pretty creative and outspoken, but really, i just laugh at your insults and bullying and i destroy anything you shit out with my verbal reckonings. I don't think i'm better than anyone, i'm kind to everyone, and that's what opens my mouth in the first place, is people attacking me or trying to bully me, it reminds me of how they could be doing it do someone else, like a gay kid, a black person, a woman, and it pisses me off. scene kids are the worst, almost like nazis cause they are a form of upper rich caste system that thinks they're better and they get snobby and uptight and its fucking annoying. I'm faithful,, sometimes romantic, sometimes funny genuine human. I dob not have anything in common with humans, I feel I'm more intelligent and its a burden being in a way, an ugly duckling. But I relate to morons too, because I am a stupid moron sometimes, I'm silly like that. next month i will have seen 10 psychiatrists in my life yet there's nothing even wrong with me.I'm the kind of person who would volunteer his head to a row of nazis so that others may live, i'm selfless. I'm also the kind of person who would be the ONLY one to stand up and risk not being hidden anymore, risk being killed by those nazis just to stand up to them. I'm a leader. I've led 100 of the world's worst maniacs in a jail cell for a year, I was on the back of a 7ft nigerian man preventing him from killing someone, I was a good person in a bad place, like jesus walking this shitty earth. Upon an apoclypse in 2012 i can lead the world to peace. i'm also the kind of person that is a fighter, i can be on my bloody knees before a dozen nazis and slice all their throats in moments before they know what's happening. I've only been with 3 girls, all long relationships and am still looking for my true soul mate on this planet, I've scavenged billions of galaxies looking and my search has ended here. You're here somewhere, I sense you. My ex got me put in jail to become a pornstar? She sent a threat to Kevin Spacey's website. The fuckers stole my movie 'The Thing' but made it shitty, read my synopsis or script at thethingfromanotherworld.webs.com. 2nd time feds kicked in my door, guns blazing, I told them my gf had shaved a penis in my chest hair, which she really did the night before, they looked and laughed and withdrew their guns out of our faces, I basically saved that crazy ex ponrstar, tattood bitch's life with my wittiness and her stupid art project she did on me when she was bored. Plus, having a lifesize darth maul figurine at the foot of my bed didn't really solidify to these saps I was a real serial murderer. I'm a handyman and can do just about anything, I'm currently building a movie set for my next silly video. I type 100 words a minute. I'm great with my mind, hands and dignity and I apply those things to women. I'm the most compassionate person alive or who has ever lived. I'm a registered rehabber wih the D.N.R. of Indiana. I"m incredible in all sports. I love spending time with someone I love watching movies and going out to eat, just waiting on that right girl. I have a bachelor's in English, and an associates from Minneapolis in Art instruction, but I'm happy with being a loser, being poor and having no future, I'm just trying to manage every day on this shitty planet, being a very lonely wise thing. I've been to California a dozen times in the last 2 years and not for vacation or my own accord (long story). I'm VERY down to earth and give great advice. If I could go to Chipotle daily I would, but I have no girl in my life, no significant other, no waddling penguin, no friend to hold my hand. i do like a girl alot, but i realize how fucked up i am, sometimes i don't even want to get out of bed, i'd need her to understand what its like to be lonesome and depressed, i really miss holding someone. we're all doomed to die, it sucks, i'm just trying to make my life as comfortable as possible with the little means i have, hopefully they'll put me on mental disability and i can continue my writing without having to work shit jobs to make ends meet, or save for a date with a girl and it never happens anyways go to a few of my sites myspace.com/andyp6 or Andy's Facebook link is below, its facebook.com/boathopper i have a new myspace account but rarely use it
clivedavinci: if you come into my life i promise you you’ll always feel a hand on your back, holding you close to me, it’ll be so often that the times i’m away from you, you’ll feel a phantom hand in its place, it’ll be the reminder, like how a television screen will burn an image on the tube if you leave something paused on the screen too long, there will be indelible marks upon your heart if we get together, i can so promise because i know how i feel in my heart for you, i cannot describe it in lame words, i need to touch you and hug you and pull you into my embrace for me to show you how much i care, it’ll be in my kiss too, you’ll know, i promise you that you’ll know

clivedavinci: if you come into my life i promise you you’ll always feel a hand on your back, holding you close to me, it’ll be so often that the times i’m away from you, you’ll feel a phantom hand in its place, it’ll be the reminder, like how a television screen will burn an image on the tube if you leave something paused on the screen too long, there will be indelible marks upon your heart if we get together, i can so promise because i know how i feel in my heart for you, i cannot describe it in lame words, i need to touch you and hug you and pull you into my embrace for me to show you how much i care, it’ll be in my kiss too, you’ll know, i promise you that you’ll know

(via fuckingcuddle)

bunnyfood:

(via pleatedjeans:via)

clivedavinci: please come and steal my heart for me, take your king away, please, my life feels so incomplete right now, i maybe not have a home, i may not have anything going for me, i maybe starving, alone, fat, bald, stupid, beaten, trampled, poor, but you know what? i got to see my baby, its all i fucking care about, i guess its what keeps me happy, i sink so low and then to see how beautiful she is, to see that maybe there’s still a chance we can be together and go someplace and have fun, well thats like a hand grabbing mine when i’m hanging off a cliff, until the day she gets some dude in her life and they hold each other doing squat thrusts n shit and think they’re in love n shit, well until that day comes i’m happy at least, until she’s stolen from me by something pretending to be better, all the quacksalvers out there, i still have my hopes at least, because i know i’d be the best for her, she wouldn’t get enough of her older weird boyfriend, and the more we got used to each other she would see me as a younger soul than anyone she’s ever known, and eventually there’ll be a day where we’re laying in bed laughing and flirting and just being so happy, that she’ll be like ‘oh my god i just realized that you’re fucking 37 man, what the fuck? that is so fucking weird, it just doesn’t seem real’ and then i’ll tell her ‘well baby you don’t feel real either, you’re a dream in my life that wasn’t supposed to happen, look how long we were right next to each other and we weren’t even friends and didn’t even talk n shit, dreams rarely ever come true and i’m living the dream as we speak with you, i hope you never leave me, because i’d never leave you’, man, i wish we could have that convo some day, hell any convo now even, if you didn’t want me to hang out with girls jess, even darla n shit, i wouldn’t, but you don’t talk to me, i wouldn’t let these pretty girls out here in the harbor get at me either, actually you not saying shit makes me not owe you anything, yoiu’re off flirting with guys n s hit, but, i like you so much i keep all the girls away by myself, with my  own judgements, because you’re the girl i want, i don’t know how lame of a lovestory it is, but it could be ours if yo uwanted it, once i get more stable i might appeal to you better, sorry i’m all ugly n shit now, i may not have a lot in my life, or things going for me, but, i havfe EVERYTHING, just by seeing you and having hope i could someday get to talk to you when one of our dumbasses builds up the courage, but i dunno, you’ll probably date a few more guys, have a few old dudes, before you ever give me a shot, you’re young and that’s what young people do i guess, all i know is i could’ve been your checkmate, i i could’ve been your mate, and our lives, if you so chose, would be the funnest game ever, that much i know, i know how to love and have fun, i just wished you could see it someday, i wish someday i can feel it again, i’m outside the library, my screen is so ddark its so gay man, i’m gonna go to stracks in e.c, come stalk me man, na, you’re too far, what are you doing anyways, prepping for ht weekend? folding your socks and undies, changing the cat’s shitbox, dang was it stocked up with turds? alright i’ll see ya man

bunnyfood:

(via pleatedjeans:via)

clivedavinci: please come and steal my heart for me, take your king away, please, my life feels so incomplete right now, i maybe not have a home, i may not have anything going for me, i maybe starving, alone, fat, bald, stupid, beaten, trampled, poor, but you know what? i got to see my baby, its all i fucking care about, i guess its what keeps me happy, i sink so low and then to see how beautiful she is, to see that maybe there’s still a chance we can be together and go someplace and have fun, well thats like a hand grabbing mine when i’m hanging off a cliff, until the day she gets some dude in her life and they hold each other doing squat thrusts n shit and think they’re in love n shit, well until that day comes i’m happy at least, until she’s stolen from me by something pretending to be better, all the quacksalvers out there, i still have my hopes at least, because i know i’d be the best for her, she wouldn’t get enough of her older weird boyfriend, and the more we got used to each other she would see me as a younger soul than anyone she’s ever known, and eventually there’ll be a day where we’re laying in bed laughing and flirting and just being so happy, that she’ll be like ‘oh my god i just realized that you’re fucking 37 man, what the fuck? that is so fucking weird, it just doesn’t seem real’ and then i’ll tell her ‘well baby you don’t feel real either, you’re a dream in my life that wasn’t supposed to happen, look how long we were right next to each other and we weren’t even friends and didn’t even talk n shit, dreams rarely ever come true and i’m living the dream as we speak with you, i hope you never leave me, because i’d never leave you’, man, i wish we could have that convo some day, hell any convo now even, if you didn’t want me to hang out with girls jess, even darla n shit, i wouldn’t, but you don’t talk to me, i wouldn’t let these pretty girls out here in the harbor get at me either, actually you not saying shit makes me not owe you anything, yoiu’re off flirting with guys n s hit, but, i like you so much i keep all the girls away by myself, with my own judgements, because you’re the girl i want, i don’t know how lame of a lovestory it is, but it could be ours if yo uwanted it, once i get more stable i might appeal to you better, sorry i’m all ugly n shit now, i may not have a lot in my life, or things going for me, but, i havfe EVERYTHING, just by seeing you and having hope i could someday get to talk to you when one of our dumbasses builds up the courage, but i dunno, you’ll probably date a few more guys, have a few old dudes, before you ever give me a shot, you’re young and that’s what young people do i guess, all i know is i could’ve been your checkmate, i i could’ve been your mate, and our lives, if you so chose, would be the funnest game ever, that much i know, i know how to love and have fun, i just wished you could see it someday, i wish someday i can feel it again, i’m outside the library, my screen is so ddark its so gay man, i’m gonna go to stracks in e.c, come stalk me man, na, you’re too far, what are you doing anyways, prepping for ht weekend? folding your socks and undies, changing the cat’s shitbox, dang was it stocked up with turds? alright i’ll see ya man

bunnyfood:

(via sizvideos)

clivedavinci: its how i feel when i see you, you’re so majestic, you’re larger than life, you’re so fucking gorgeous i can’t take it, that butt of yours is melliferous, you got all that jiggle, all that honey boo, i wanna taste if from the source, i wanna be a bear since i’m grizzly now and i want yo honey, honey, be my little honeysuckle, why don’t’cha try a date in october with me? it would blow your mind man, just think of us now as strangers that don’t know each other, because if you get to talk to me and i get to be funny and outgoing it will change your perceptions of me, and then you can get the shy quiet part about me all to yourself too, in general, in the long run, i like when you’re near me so much, there’s something so special about you, and i don’t think its just how much i like you either, all the building up bubbles inside me making me feel high when i’m around you, there’s something else, maybe we’re supposed to be together? and we’re avoiding it, being dicks to each other, and huge vaginas, man i wish i can see your vagina someday, i want to treat it so nice, i wanna hold your hand and sit beside you as opposite species, one of us can soar, it could be either of us, me with my writing, you with your lifting, and one of us can pounce, and that’ll surely be you, you’ll wanna hop my bones when we’re in the moment kissing someday

clivedavinci: is that all i am to you? is a buttwatcher? why do you always time it so you in front of me with your nice big butt huh? that’s not all i like about you jess, i wanna do this kinda stuff with you all the time, why can’t we? oh i forgot, you refuse to stay, well i refuse too, just the thought of you leaving sucks, just the thought of you going to college and seeing cute boys sucks, everything sucks about you, except for you sucking my penis which you should be doing full time as my girlfriend, when are you gonna be my girlfriend huh? we don’t have to touch our boner and vagina parts yet, we could be civil though? and talk n shit. you didn’t linger that much today, but, deep down i think maybe you still might like me, those weeks i was offline you were really getting pissed and wondering where i was huh? i’m sorry, i’m sorry i left, i wanna be here for you all the time, i want you in my life so bad it hurts, your mean pouty little face washing down machines, doin your job and your duties, i hope one day i can watch you do doodies if we become an item in the future and you’re pooping on the toilet and i walk in and you’re s hy and embarassed but we’re used to each other so it don’t matter if i smell you all stinky, i don’t care, we would be so intimate all the time, laying in bed for hours, having marathons, and holding and caressing and sliding off each other’s bodies, we would grow so used to each other, i wish, but i don’t think its what you want, i do think you still like me, don’t know what you’re waiting for, but i wouldn’t be so weird if you just talked to me online and then we eventually went out ya know, hey, at least you’ll be here for a year right? that’s what you said, maybe i’ll get a shot afterall to date you and then you would be homesick at the thought of leaving my arms, your home, we’ll see, if you want that is….hung out with darla man, i couldn’t help it, she hounds me night and day and i wasn’t doing s hit anyways, i don’t really have anywhere to go, it was a lot of fun actually, i laughed my ass off, she’s a character, i’m gonna go back to watch some wreestling in a month or so, i’m in e.c, library, just saw my buddy alex who hired me the other day for a moving job, i’m gonna go ask my uncle if i can move into his building for a few months since there’s a truce with the rest of the crazies, i don’t see why i wouldn’t be able to, ther’es a fridge there and i’d be able to keep my milk n shit, its wy i have flapjack titties yo, i got my stamps i’m gonna go to this stracks and pick up some food

clivedavinci: is that all i am to you? is a buttwatcher? why do you always time it so you in front of me with your nice big butt huh? that’s not all i like about you jess, i wanna do this kinda stuff with you all the time, why can’t we? oh i forgot, you refuse to stay, well i refuse too, just the thought of you leaving sucks, just the thought of you going to college and seeing cute boys sucks, everything sucks about you, except for you sucking my penis which you should be doing full time as my girlfriend, when are you gonna be my girlfriend huh? we don’t have to touch our boner and vagina parts yet, we could be civil though? and talk n shit. you didn’t linger that much today, but, deep down i think maybe you still might like me, those weeks i was offline you were really getting pissed and wondering where i was huh? i’m sorry, i’m sorry i left, i wanna be here for you all the time, i want you in my life so bad it hurts, your mean pouty little face washing down machines, doin your job and your duties, i hope one day i can watch you do doodies if we become an item in the future and you’re pooping on the toilet and i walk in and you’re s hy and embarassed but we’re used to each other so it don’t matter if i smell you all stinky, i don’t care, we would be so intimate all the time, laying in bed for hours, having marathons, and holding and caressing and sliding off each other’s bodies, we would grow so used to each other, i wish, but i don’t think its what you want, i do think you still like me, don’t know what you’re waiting for, but i wouldn’t be so weird if you just talked to me online and then we eventually went out ya know, hey, at least you’ll be here for a year right? that’s what you said, maybe i’ll get a shot afterall to date you and then you would be homesick at the thought of leaving my arms, your home, we’ll see, if you want that is….hung out with darla man, i couldn’t help it, she hounds me night and day and i wasn’t doing s hit anyways, i don’t really have anywhere to go, it was a lot of fun actually, i laughed my ass off, she’s a character, i’m gonna go back to watch some wreestling in a month or so, i’m in e.c, library, just saw my buddy alex who hired me the other day for a moving job, i’m gonna go ask my uncle if i can move into his building for a few months since there’s a truce with the rest of the crazies, i don’t see why i wouldn’t be able to, ther’es a fridge there and i’d be able to keep my milk n shit, its wy i have flapjack titties yo, i got my stamps i’m gonna go to this stracks and pick up some food

clivedavinci: this is what girls vaginas probably look like in my mind, its why i stay away, na, i stay away because i’m still clinging onto love, man fuck, i don’t know what to do, i have nowhere to go or nothing to do man, i bounce away from one place to the next, i can use bathrooms sometimes but that’s it, i can’t really go anywhere, my mind is all fucked up with worry and stress, all because people you trust most want to hand you their shit, even the truce we made still leaves me so fucked up you have no idea man, i can’t even be funny, or romantic like i used to be, no wonder nobody gives a shit about me, all anyone wants to do is get far away, i’m so silent its like i’m not even there, i don’t smile anymore, i don’t talk, i don’t share jokes, the only time i feel myself is if i’m working with cool people, but when i’m not working now i hvae nothing else to do with my life, i’m gonna eat a burger than go to the gym now and get it over with n shit, i just gotta exercise my mind man and try to get less stressed out

clivedavinci: this is what girls vaginas probably look like in my mind, its why i stay away, na, i stay away because i’m still clinging onto love, man fuck, i don’t know what to do, i have nowhere to go or nothing to do man, i bounce away from one place to the next, i can use bathrooms sometimes but that’s it, i can’t really go anywhere, my mind is all fucked up with worry and stress, all because people you trust most want to hand you their shit, even the truce we made still leaves me so fucked up you have no idea man, i can’t even be funny, or romantic like i used to be, no wonder nobody gives a shit about me, all anyone wants to do is get far away, i’m so silent its like i’m not even there, i don’t smile anymore, i don’t talk, i don’t share jokes, the only time i feel myself is if i’m working with cool people, but when i’m not working now i hvae nothing else to do with my life, i’m gonna eat a burger than go to the gym now and get it over with n shit, i just gotta exercise my mind man and try to get less stressed out

(via bunnyfood)

clivedavinci: this is like me, i’m half buff, but i’m also half fat n shit and i like lasagna, man if you think people who are sarcastic and flirty n shit are great people, just wait til you turn 21, you’ll be dicked by the entire planet, its how people in bars are man, its how they get so easily laid, the way they are, the most fun you had, is me, times a million, if you’d ever see me like that but you don’t, you haven’t and you probably never will because you’re moving on up n shit and mufukas are kind because they wanna kindly slide their dicks into you bro, but whatever, go places where dudes talk to you, go to gyms and get all that shit, go to tropical buttholes of the planet too, you’ll learn a lot about people in the long run, but its good people conversate man in general, its just so weird i stopped one day, i guess its because most people always give you their shit, you’ll get used to it one day, so i guess have fun while you’re young and oblivious, everyone is a taker in this world man, you’re so young and simple, the world is full of promise, that’s a good thing i guess, don’t become like me, don’t be whiny and believe one person exists for you n shit, don’t ever get depressed like me man, what you’re doing is the right path, don’t come down my path, please don’t, because i’d ensare you in my arms and never let you go, and you don’t want that, go enjoy the world and all the people man

(via coinfarts)

luteylumi:

This speaks to me on an emotional level.

clivedavinci: the thing about me is this, i don’t hate anybody, even my mother and sister all the shit they do to me, i don’t hate them, i just would never trust them again, and they do everything in their power it seems to make me never wanna be around them, instead of laughing and being cool they hand me all their bullshit, not like how i hand my depressing bullshit sometimes to people when i’m sad and quiet, no, they’ll hand really bad shit to me, its projectionism, they’ll project what’s eating at them onto you, and i don’t do that to people ever, if i’m not a joy to be around sometimes publically with friends or something, its just because i’m quiet, but i’m never an asshole, if i’m seen as an asshole sometimes because i’m stuck in a rut and don’t have enough money to be around them n shit then i’m sorry, but friendship shouldn’t be just about blowing tons of money n shit, i don’t hate people that call me a creep, then feel bad about it beacuse it pisses me off, i don’t go through life as an asshole, and i’m very forgiving, i don’t hold onto things, i’m even over my stupid ex who ruined my life, and in a way when it comes to people i’m always to blame anyways because i’m just fucking weird and quiet and the kind of mind i have is a creative one, and not one like everyone elses, i can’t help it i wanna be faithful to a girl someday, i can’t help it i wanna find a girl someday to love and not a million bitches, i’m sorry if i’m sincere half the time but comedic the other half, i have a personality where i’m like ‘look at me you assholes let me entertain you’, but then there’s nothing funny to be said, i’m just the depressive, so it backfires i guess, i can’t have one thing and then do the other, i’m fully aware of that, its my mistake in life, and its not really my fault, i’m a comedian and i can’t help it, but i’ve also become this depressed asshole and i can’t help it, i used to be outgoing, and i just cannot believe i workout at a gym where nobody knows me, or is afraid to know me, or is embarassed to know me, its kinda like i’m living in hell actually, everytime i go, i’ve never lived like this before, but its my own hell, its just by circumstance, its not that i wanted to live like this, its just how my cards’ve been dealt, but at least i’m still keeping healthy, that’s the main thing, and at least i got to see the girl i liked for quite sometime even though she’s taking off and flying the coup like a normal person, while i’ll stay here in indiana rotting away, and without my family even being in my life in the slightest, all i ever wanted was the good things in life, the free simple stuff, and its like the world goes crazy with all aspects of money and i’m left behind, unloved n shit, i hate it, but what am i gonna do? i’ll just be alone and stupid for the rest of my life, and at least someday when i die, at least i’ll know that i at least tried to bring love into my life, i failed many times but i always kept trying, at least i lived in this shitty life and never gave up’, at least i can eat away my sorrows, or not i guess, i don’t have any damn money, i spent every fucking dime going to see my friend and all i do is get bitched at, every aspect of my life i get bitched at, its why i need to get away and forge my own little life man

(via allmoot)

rui-alberto:

Good morning Tumblr.

clivedavinci: you’re nothing but a fluffy cock, and i hate you

rui-alberto:

Good morning Tumblr.

clivedavinci: you’re nothing but a fluffy cock, and i hate you

clivedavinci: i wish we could go back in time to a place when we had our chemistry, when we were fond of each other, when we were opposites but hadn’t mattered, i’m the most sarcastic fuck there is and you know it, i’m forgiving too man, even if people are mean to me, its no big deal, i just wish i wasn’t so shy all the time man, i miss you so fucking much, and now you’re up and splitting because you bonded with a vacation and pueblo women baking tortillas n shit, man i bonded in cancun with hot slutty bitches that i danced with all night but never kissed, i bet i’d bond out in italy n shit where my roots is, and i can go there n shit one day sure, but my home is here, and i wanted my home to be in your arms, i don’t even feel like going to the fucking gym now, god you depress the fuck out of me

(via bunnyfood)

clivedavinci: kidiot was meowing so fucking much when i showed up, she came out of hiding and couldn’t get enough of me, the circumstances in my life always makes it seem like i’m abandoning her, first jail for an entire year, and then all these homeless bouts for months on end, my poor little friend, at least this will be the last time we’re going to be reunited, i have something to work towards, and it’ll be permanent this time for her so that’s good, i miss my little best friend, i hope in coming months i’ll have another new best friend to take with me into my new life, so i’ll have two best friends i can cuddle and hold, that’d be awesome

(via bunnyfood)

clivedavinci: i’m at windsor, but i’m gonna just leave man, i’m not gonna ask for a certain girl to come see me, i just don’t care anymore man, maybe because i care too much is why i feel i cannot care at all, i think my sadness is all because of her man, she’s someone that doesn’t exist in so many ways, and when i try to not think about it torturing myself, its like she’ll reel this big fat fish back in, she’s why i hurt i think, besides being alone, i guess i see how great she is, and its like torture, someone i could never have, everyone else will get her and have her, fuckin sucks, i’m outta here, not feeling funny or romantic, i probably won’t for a long while until i get my own place, at least i can see kidiot  once a while, she had no food and no water man, and dthere was shit all over the place i had to clean up, no litter box, regardless if people have excuses they’re busy or they don’t come down everyday, like why would you leave the basement in such a disgusting mess man, it actually shows who is responsible and who isn’t, like times people just off and go travel to a guys house for weeks, i take it upon myself to take care of the animals and the house n shit, its called responsibility, i don’t know, let their futures be what its gonna be man, i’m outta here, i told my mom what i want so we’ll see in months if that shit’s gonna happen or not man, man life sucks right now, i wish a girl was in my life, it would make all the difference, i’ve been up at 4am steady for weeks, its why i’ve been working steady n shit, everyone is up all early at 8am n shit, so weird how when you hvae nothing and you struggle you don’t have the luxury to sleep in, your entire life is dictated by the offering scraps of the world, i feel so sorry for kids in libraries, people on the streets„people without anyone in their lives, old people all alone and old n shit, i’m so lucky, i’m so fucked, but i’m so lucky

clivedavinci: i’m at windsor, but i’m gonna just leave man, i’m not gonna ask for a certain girl to come see me, i just don’t care anymore man, maybe because i care too much is why i feel i cannot care at all, i think my sadness is all because of her man, she’s someone that doesn’t exist in so many ways, and when i try to not think about it torturing myself, its like she’ll reel this big fat fish back in, she’s why i hurt i think, besides being alone, i guess i see how great she is, and its like torture, someone i could never have, everyone else will get her and have her, fuckin sucks, i’m outta here, not feeling funny or romantic, i probably won’t for a long while until i get my own place, at least i can see kidiot once a while, she had no food and no water man, and dthere was shit all over the place i had to clean up, no litter box, regardless if people have excuses they’re busy or they don’t come down everyday, like why would you leave the basement in such a disgusting mess man, it actually shows who is responsible and who isn’t, like times people just off and go travel to a guys house for weeks, i take it upon myself to take care of the animals and the house n shit, its called responsibility, i don’t know, let their futures be what its gonna be man, i’m outta here, i told my mom what i want so we’ll see in months if that shit’s gonna happen or not man, man life sucks right now, i wish a girl was in my life, it would make all the difference, i’ve been up at 4am steady for weeks, its why i’ve been working steady n shit, everyone is up all early at 8am n shit, so weird how when you hvae nothing and you struggle you don’t have the luxury to sleep in, your entire life is dictated by the offering scraps of the world, i feel so sorry for kids in libraries, people on the streets„people without anyone in their lives, old people all alone and old n shit, i’m so lucky, i’m so fucked, but i’m so lucky

(via coinfarts)

corissaandjake:

Love at its finest ❤

clivedavinci: like does everyone in the whole fucking world have to be a fitness couple n shit? can’t two people just be in love n shit? and spend all their time together? and not just at the gym showing off n shit? i wanna ALWAYS spend my time with my baby, and it will come naturally man, we’ll have so much fun, we’ll feel so weird like our heads are cut off when we’re away from our partner, our best friend……i ate so much shit today at the hospital, and it was all expensive n shit and my boss had my back n shit, the fucking tolls on the way back raped my asshole man, almost ten fucking dollars in tolls man? wtf? fuck that shit, and people keep taking that skyway n s hit too, like why don’t people leave it abandoned and protest, what is the fucking purpose of the shit, the garage wanted like 13 bucks n shit, so i backed out after holding up traffic n shit, and then hugged the back bumper of the car in front of me and snuck my car out n shit, fuck that shit, i even had my ticket validated too, sure its a better hospital but c’mon man, i had some porkchops and cauliflower bought for me, but its like a little portion n shit, so me and my boss went and got a burger and fries, i still worked out anyways, my buddy mr garcia wanted to know what was going on with me n shit and he couldn’t believe my circumstances, he has such a deep dracula voice n shit, man there’s some dracula reborn story where the poster looks so gay but the trailer is fukcing awesome and an original take on vlad tepes, which is a true story n shit, god there’s SO MANY hot fucking girls in the world, just in chicago, just on that campus, and comings and goings of families n shit, so many women, like who the fuck am i fooling that some silly girl out in the world believes in love where there’s unlimited dick that’s more appealing to her, just in this area alone? i give up on love, i haven’t really, but it like kicks my ass man, does it exist? yeah right, prove it

werebottom:

UFC fighter Kyle Kingsbury showing his support for the LGBT community - Legalize Gay

Look at the disappointment in that salty bitch’s eyes

clivedavinci: that’s cool n all but he’s obviously in ufc just for the sex n shit, to form ripples and undulations in his abs n shit, nobody in the ufc is a challenge to me in my opinion, except for some of the guys who have strong chins and won’t go down when you catch them, but shit, that’s where all the wrestling comes in and you can just slam a mufuka or tap a mufuka out, its about time someone joined the ufce who fights for a cause, i promised if i ever would i’d get all kinds of graphic animal rights tattoos on my bodies to educate people, or like animals and demons ripping people apart, like hunters n shit, that’s the ONLY fucking reason i’d ever get tattoos, i’d be dumbing myself down to make myself cool because my body and what i project with stupidity would be swapped for a better cause, i’d be educating millions of idiots man, becuase i’d be knocking fuckers out on the regula suhn, i don’t do enough for animals anymore, i’m lazy n shit still even though i work daily, but still, i could always join up man, its not a forgotten dream at all, i’d be doing it like lionheart n shit, i have nothing to prove, i’m just trying to help my family with money, and my family is the animals…. today i forced a truce with the rejects today, i walked in when they were all there, it was so awkward, my mom is telling me to take kidiot to a shelter n shit and wondes why i don’t, and i was like ‘becaues i do’nt just give up on my family w hen its convennient for me’, we didn’t argue too much, i cleaned up a million piles of bloody piss and shit, mostly from dakota, my mom is telling me its all from kidiot when i know kidiot’s shit, because she’s a small cat, and dakota is twice the size, but you can never tell her anything, she’s saying the cats have never been downstairs, yet she thought she locked the door and there’s like 5 cats downstairs n shit and she was all suprised n shit, i didn’t ask my uncle if i could move to the building for the time being becuase he was bitching an alarm kept going off n shit and thinks i’m sleeping there, god i try to avoid that shit, he’s such a grouchy fuck, i got alot of my clothes at least and my i.d’s n shit and shaving kit, i’ll go hit the gym t hursnday only around 7, i drove to chicago university in the morning but i was an hour late cause of my stamp interview was an hour later, i missed fatty before he wentd under the knife, man there was a shitload of family that showed up, so many of my friends, didn’t really talk to anyone, i was hanging out with the father and father-in-law like some o.g’s n shit, everyone has somebody i noticed, families of their own, men my age with someone to go home to, wives, children, young men who have pretty ladies n shit, and even if that doesn’t last long they still have their families n shit, everyone came with several people, i came alone in my stupid little car, i just thought back to a time i was at that campus, i had everyone in my life, it wasn’t evfen that long ago, about 7 years ago, we were there for my grandma, who was 100 percent man, she had NOTHING wrong with her, after all the bullshit we dealt with in musnter, hammond,etc, non-learning, financial healtchare systems, so i had my grandma who was murdered by the other hospitals, my girlfriend was with me too, who later on turned to a pornstar, and i had my mom and sister and the kids before they went absolutely batty, i had EVERYONE, i had EVERYTHING, its what life was ya know, something i was so used to, something i was so happy with, my little family, i didn’t ask for much ya know, just people to be in my life was all, i was the man and i never minded being trampled on and pounded upon, it was a daily process, but as time progressed i’ve lost everything and i don’t know w hy, i’ve never done anything wrong in my life relaly, i’m a good guy, i didn’t know angels could have their wings broken in so many pieces, or maybe it was all for a reason, maybe they were thinned out of my life because they were no good and when i’d be weak they’d come and do the same kinds of things they’re doing when i was strong, maybe it was the universe that pulled them from me, besides my grandma of course, she was the coolest, my best friend before crissy really, maybe something better is going to happen in my life? maybe someone kind and good and smart and strong is going to pop in my life? i wouldn’t know, i’m not looking forward to it actually, its all just a dream, i see like countless couples at the gym n shit too, i dunno, it’d be nice to leave the gym or anywhere and just rest your head on the person in your life’s shoulder, and just hold their hand and be cozy with them on your next adventure even if the next adventure is just going home, having someone in your life means EVERYTHING, and its always a fucking adventure, trust me when i say this man, i have nothing, so i know, go watch ‘one hour photo’ with robin williams, minus all the crazy shit, well that’s how i fucking feel man, i see people hvae everything and they just squander it, i just wished i had something that they had ya know, and i know i’m different but i’m not a bad person, i don’t believe i deserve to be alone in my life, i just can’t believe nobody awesome has come along yet

(via yung-purp)

clivedavinci: i wish you could’ve seen me today, i was happy, nobody in my life has really seen it, even carlos hasn’t seen it since we were in high school, its so rare and its so great, i become so happy and thrilling, if you become the girl in my life i know i’d be happy all the time, i’m not some quiet shy guy, i was never supposed to be like this, i was never supposed to become heartbroken, i was never supposed to become lonesome, i was never supposed to be seen as weird or creepy, that cara chick was at the gym,another one bites the dust, she was with some young bieber kind of boy n shit, the perfect college boy n shit, is that what you want? i never liked her like that, i thought she was nice, i tried to make yoiu jealous n shit, how could i ever not be smitten with my baby that i wanna hold upside down in bed like this? i wanna go through so many rounds with you, until we’re so exhausted that you’re like ‘fuccckkkk the gym today’ and you’ll actually say that, often, becuase i’m going to love you so fucking hard, your life will change, i’m telling you man, i’ll become something else entirely in your eyes, i just need conversation, and then eventually a date, and i guarantee you we’ll grow so fond of each other, i promise you, dude i just read your shit, you were being sarcastic that time? c’mon penis, no you weren’t, but its over, lets move on biznitch, spread yo legs and let me lick that butta, sike, you think you’re sarcastic, man that’s so great if its true,its just another thing i like about you, sorry if i read things wrong, i mean i’m not in your life man, how could i take certain things as innocent? you can’t blame me either, we have no bridging to our conversation, fuck man, please be with me man, come home, be my baby, talk to me, flirt with me, show your buns off to me, twinkle your eyes at me, flip your hair at me, flick your finger off at me, call me a butthole, call me a faggot, you can call me creepy i guess but only if you love me, you cannot hate me or disregard me as an ordinary joe and say that stuff man, all i’ve ever wanted to impress was you, man, i think yoiu’re just living your life away from me, you’ll surely find a guy your own age man, its getting cooler out, its becoming fall soon, it’ll be cool and chilly, i could be holding you soon if you wanted, i wish you wanted me to, i’d hug you in your flannel shirt so good, i’d make you TOO  fucking warm to the point you’d need to take it off from how hot and bothered i get you, i’m gonna go i guess,i put on some locks on some apartments today and worked on some plumbing and did a lot of running, met a bunch of cool people at this house and help them do some shit, then later went to another apartment and did a moving job, i have money to drive to chicago tomorrow for my bestie to make sure he don’t eat all the jello like a fatass, i hope in a way of karma that those weeks of severe testicle pain i’d taken out some of his, kinda like in the green mile, i do’nt mind it at all he’s my amigo, he actually told me today that i’m a great friend, his best friend n shit, he’s never said sh it like that, he’s getting homo erectus on me, because he must be getting an erection for me, man, i wish our timeframes were different jessups, i wish you would’ve gotten to know my grandma, she wa so fucking cool, so sarcastic, so funny and chill, i wish you could’ve even met my mom and sister when they used to be normal funny cool people, i don’t know what the fuck has happend to them, if you get with me i don’t know if you’ll ever even meet them, i can’t have them in my life, they’re hurtful voids, they just hurt me nonstop and i’m sick of it, this was the lonest week of my life, no, not being homelss n shit, being without you, you’re so fucking far from me, if the world fell and things got hectic i couldn’t even get to you, i couldn’t go save you or some shit, or get to you and you’re fine and on the shoulder of some other guy ‘saving’ you, and you tell me to fuck off creep, whatever, at least that’d be a time for me to try again huh? after all the times i kinda did, if you wanna fall for me, i’m telling you, t hat i wished you would, not that i need it, there’s others out there, and then there’s my lonliness i’m so used to, but becuase i want it so bad, i want you in my life so bad, i can’t get enough of that pretty smile, i can’t get enough of your serious little moody hatey face, you’re so sexy, your body, i’ve always liked you so much, i wish i could be strapping in your eyes, i wish i could enjoy being alone with you, instead of being alone by ourselves and dwelling on our sadness, when you come home, and if you’re depressed for even a minute, talk to me huh? or not i guess, you probably have so much fun talking to all those other boys on snap chats n shit, i get it i guess, we’re just from different lands man, i’m gonna lay off talking to you, i just feel like a fool, i don’t mind being your fool, but you make me feel foolish in general, its like i’m talking to myself

clivedavinci: i wish you could’ve seen me today, i was happy, nobody in my life has really seen it, even carlos hasn’t seen it since we were in high school, its so rare and its so great, i become so happy and thrilling, if you become the girl in my life i know i’d be happy all the time, i’m not some quiet shy guy, i was never supposed to be like this, i was never supposed to become heartbroken, i was never supposed to become lonesome, i was never supposed to be seen as weird or creepy, that cara chick was at the gym,another one bites the dust, she was with some young bieber kind of boy n shit, the perfect college boy n shit, is that what you want? i never liked her like that, i thought she was nice, i tried to make yoiu jealous n shit, how could i ever not be smitten with my baby that i wanna hold upside down in bed like this? i wanna go through so many rounds with you, until we’re so exhausted that you’re like ‘fuccckkkk the gym today’ and you’ll actually say that, often, becuase i’m going to love you so fucking hard, your life will change, i’m telling you man, i’ll become something else entirely in your eyes, i just need conversation, and then eventually a date, and i guarantee you we’ll grow so fond of each other, i promise you, dude i just read your shit, you were being sarcastic that time? c’mon penis, no you weren’t, but its over, lets move on biznitch, spread yo legs and let me lick that butta, sike, you think you’re sarcastic, man that’s so great if its true,its just another thing i like about you, sorry if i read things wrong, i mean i’m not in your life man, how could i take certain things as innocent? you can’t blame me either, we have no bridging to our conversation, fuck man, please be with me man, come home, be my baby, talk to me, flirt with me, show your buns off to me, twinkle your eyes at me, flip your hair at me, flick your finger off at me, call me a butthole, call me a faggot, you can call me creepy i guess but only if you love me, you cannot hate me or disregard me as an ordinary joe and say that stuff man, all i’ve ever wanted to impress was you, man, i think yoiu’re just living your life away from me, you’ll surely find a guy your own age man, its getting cooler out, its becoming fall soon, it’ll be cool and chilly, i could be holding you soon if you wanted, i wish you wanted me to, i’d hug you in your flannel shirt so good, i’d make you TOO fucking warm to the point you’d need to take it off from how hot and bothered i get you, i’m gonna go i guess,i put on some locks on some apartments today and worked on some plumbing and did a lot of running, met a bunch of cool people at this house and help them do some shit, then later went to another apartment and did a moving job, i have money to drive to chicago tomorrow for my bestie to make sure he don’t eat all the jello like a fatass, i hope in a way of karma that those weeks of severe testicle pain i’d taken out some of his, kinda like in the green mile, i do’nt mind it at all he’s my amigo, he actually told me today that i’m a great friend, his best friend n shit, he’s never said sh it like that, he’s getting homo erectus on me, because he must be getting an erection for me, man, i wish our timeframes were different jessups, i wish you would’ve gotten to know my grandma, she wa so fucking cool, so sarcastic, so funny and chill, i wish you could’ve even met my mom and sister when they used to be normal funny cool people, i don’t know what the fuck has happend to them, if you get with me i don’t know if you’ll ever even meet them, i can’t have them in my life, they’re hurtful voids, they just hurt me nonstop and i’m sick of it, this was the lonest week of my life, no, not being homelss n shit, being without you, you’re so fucking far from me, if the world fell and things got hectic i couldn’t even get to you, i couldn’t go save you or some shit, or get to you and you’re fine and on the shoulder of some other guy ‘saving’ you, and you tell me to fuck off creep, whatever, at least that’d be a time for me to try again huh? after all the times i kinda did, if you wanna fall for me, i’m telling you, t hat i wished you would, not that i need it, there’s others out there, and then there’s my lonliness i’m so used to, but becuase i want it so bad, i want you in my life so bad, i can’t get enough of that pretty smile, i can’t get enough of your serious little moody hatey face, you’re so sexy, your body, i’ve always liked you so much, i wish i could be strapping in your eyes, i wish i could enjoy being alone with you, instead of being alone by ourselves and dwelling on our sadness, when you come home, and if you’re depressed for even a minute, talk to me huh? or not i guess, you probably have so much fun talking to all those other boys on snap chats n shit, i get it i guess, we’re just from different lands man, i’m gonna lay off talking to you, i just feel like a fool, i don’t mind being your fool, but you make me feel foolish in general, its like i’m talking to myself

(via c0uples)

clivedavinci: hi, i’m glad you’re taking pics, i was gonna mention it because without them you won’t remember your experiences later in life, and its nice to look back on stuff like that, sentimentality and memories bring happiness and tears, you’ll miss how you were young once, you’ll miss the time a guy liked you so much that you maybe passed up, life will give you so many hurdles and hops and scraped knees and falls and memories of how things used to be will be the things that lift you up, you’ll leak your tears and you’ll be cleansed in a way, your cousins are some hot bitches, man do you have any idea how beautiful you are in both of those pics? oh my god i wish i can reblog them and talk about them, but im still scared, i don’t wanna like you so much, nothing is ever direct from you, plus you’re kissing boys iwth ice creams on their lips and you make me jealeoso essa, when i see you in a picture if makes my heart sink…. i’m running errands for my boss all day, i gotta go by this other set of apartments so i gotta leave soon, maybe i’ll hop on later, i always just go on to see what’s up with you, wishing one day you’d talk to me n shit, i bet you can’t wait to come home and check out guys and show off your muscles to them, wish it was me :( the strongest muscle in my body besides my love muscle baby, is the muscle in my chest and its always beating for you, i pass so many gorgeous women every day now, some talk to me n shit, i don’t know why i’m scraggly and ugly with this beard, but what i mean to say is, they’re like parted ocean waves, and i walk right between them like moses, you’re my chosen godly thing, you’r emy heaven i’m working my way to, god you’re so fucking beautiful, i wanna hold you so bad, i wanna write you love notes and pass them to you someday if you hand me your number first, i wanna take you places, i’m working to better my life, the hard way, not the ‘ify’ way with books and dreams, but the hard way i’m making a lot of comings and goings, see ya

(via bunnyfood)