Andy Patton/ Indiana/ Romantic/ Unicorn

Hey puddins, name's Andy Patton of Hammond, Indiana. I'm single, lonely, poor and most times can't afford ramen. its been 4yrs having not fucked a woman mainly scarred from heartbreak but also i seek love and not fingerbangs, i'm a novelist of over a dozen books (details in my publshed folder on my facebook .com/boathopper page, add me) I have 800+ short films,15 are pretty good, you'd have to type 'andyp's short films' to see some on multiple accounts, i'm always deleted, a rebel on youtube, i have a hellraiser script at hellraisernightshines.yolasite.com, another tumblr at clivedavinciromance , i had a script in hollywood bounced around called boathopper which is science fiction about a monster slamming into our oceans, but the serial killer described in it is identical and predates the 'dexter' book and show, and yes its copywritten just like the rest of my sampled work, stephen king even samples me, to see more about the dexter narrative and incredible journey your detections could take just youtube 'andyp's arduous travels of an unrenound serial killer'. my body is caked and dented in scars, lacerations and holes because i'm a good person, a strong person, doing good things in a horrible place.i'm was entering a finished 3rd horror feature into sundance but its incomplete, i made it by myself in a empty building when i was homeless, its under 'sundancers andyp's' on youtube, the 2nd part is the best, my 1st two features were generic slashers and don't count as serious, i'm finishing up another book, a fantasy novel i think will be bigger than harry potter...i WILL become larger than stephen king, and you wonder why i choose such a high totum to climb other than a smaller horror writer? well its because i've finished libraries of writing, novels and shorts, all the decades i've been alone and sad in a dark room as an introvert, what is dormant, and what is almost accomplished is more thatn king, almost, i need a few green miles and stand by me's first, and then i need a few other stories and books and i will have achieved more elaborate words than star wars or marvel combined, i just have to get them seen is all, tha'ts the hard/easy part......i hang out with my gay friends in portage, they're all i have in my life, my mexican bestie is leaving ot vegas, i don't have any other real friends, and no family left, i'm just all alone in the world, i drive a stupid car i spraypainted purple, i act like a retard because i want to filter through phony uptight people, i want a real cool, good girl, who doesn't fuck everyone like everyone in society does, i want a lover and rebel and fighter, not someone who's ordinary like my ex who breaks hearts and breaks herself off pieces of dick at any whim, i haven't kissed a girl in over 2 years. I'm not a sleazeball, i've only had 3serious long relationships, that means i've only had sex with 3 people, no additional fingerbangs or buttfuckings, maybe i kissed ten more girls, but that's it. I say heartfelt poems or perversion after almost every pic i reblog, so the history of my tumblr is quite a reading adventure. I'm a horror writer, here is a link to my newest collection of stories http://www.lulu.com/shop/andrew-patton/reflections-in-the-dark/paperback/product-20340079.html I'm an animal activist.gay rights activist, civil rights activist and women's rights activist, BUT I despise stupid groups of people like most feminists, most bisexuals, most of what p.e.t.a does, truth anti smoking commercials, etc, because these consist mainly of spoiled brats doing nothing, not being in any form of fight, just a lap of luxery, forcing their beliefs or ways of life on you even if they are the most insane selfish things imagineable, like i actually argue with people who do gangbangs and have swinger parties, could they honestly justify that disgusting shit to me, do it on your own time and leave me out of your sexcapades, i'm the most fucked up person alive, stranger by far of any human alive, i have an imaginative mind but i also have social skills, i know what its like being lonesome its why i hate when people just fuck tons of others, they spit at something i wish i had, they are gluttonous. My idols are Clive Barker, i made my art collection entirely out of scratch but i had him in mind to impress him, and i also made a book of short stories like his books of blood, i'm very similar to him, a huge fan, but it wasn't on purpose, its weird, its liked he fucked my mom in the 70's before he went gay or something, Stephen King, Kenny Hotz, Wayne Pacelle of the hspca, and others, even steve o and tom green. i'm the poorest person i know, yet i give my singles to bums, i'm selfless, i'm lazy, but when i have ambition like someone helping me, i'll create milestones. i make all my videos mostly in this loft at my moms house, i'm stuck here until my federal probation is up, not like i'll go anywhere else unless i get mental disability, i have no drive in life for average shit, i'm a creator, not an assembly line worker, i don't need the shit that money can buy, i'd never go to disneyland again even if someone bought me a package cause i think its extravagent and there are kids that will never see that place, i'd let them go in my place. i dislike snooty superficial people who act like they are better than you and are mean and bully and act like they're cool, when really they are fucking ignorant whiny brats in college or some shit trying to find their identities; they are jackoffs. so beware if you get offended by something i say, which is almost always a joke, cause i'll outdebate you and i'm VERY mean to bullies who get used to being tools in their normal lives with normal people, cause i'm not normal, i'm elite, cream of the crop, super large penis machoman, and i'm wittier, funnier and fucking the coolest fuck you'll ever know period, so bitches on their periods stand no chance either. My trolling book is blowing up, its sold 43 copies now, i've made it cheaper, black & white, so i'm making money now, DON'T USE CREATESPACE they are not creative friendly. you can find my large magazine type trolling book here.. http://www.lulu.com/shop/andrew-patton/trolling-101/paperback/product-20324152.html I've been raised by women without a father, i'm very feminine but strong, so don't turn me into an angry woman that will tell you off, but it takes alot to even get me mad, it just may seem i'm mad cause i'm pretty creative and outspoken, but really, i just laugh at your insults and bullying and i destroy anything you shit out with my verbal reckonings. I don't think i'm better than anyone, i'm kind to everyone, and that's what opens my mouth in the first place, is people attacking me or trying to bully me, it reminds me of how they could be doing it do someone else, like a gay kid, a black person, a woman, and it pisses me off. scene kids are the worst, almost like nazis cause they are a form of upper rich caste system that thinks they're better and they get snobby and uptight and its fucking annoying. I'm faithful,, sometimes romantic, sometimes funny genuine human. I dob not have anything in common with humans, I feel I'm more intelligent and its a burden being in a way, an ugly duckling. But I relate to morons too, because I am a stupid moron sometimes, I'm silly like that. next month i will have seen 10 psychiatrists in my life yet there's nothing even wrong with me.I'm the kind of person who would volunteer his head to a row of nazis so that others may live, i'm selfless. I'm also the kind of person who would be the ONLY one to stand up and risk not being hidden anymore, risk being killed by those nazis just to stand up to them. I'm a leader. I've led 100 of the world's worst maniacs in a jail cell for a year, I was on the back of a 7ft nigerian man preventing him from killing someone, I was a good person in a bad place, like jesus walking this shitty earth. Upon an apoclypse in 2012 i can lead the world to peace. i'm also the kind of person that is a fighter, i can be on my bloody knees before a dozen nazis and slice all their throats in moments before they know what's happening. I've only been with 3 girls, all long relationships and am still looking for my true soul mate on this planet, I've scavenged billions of galaxies looking and my search has ended here. You're here somewhere, I sense you. My ex got me put in jail to become a pornstar? She sent a threat to Kevin Spacey's website. The fuckers stole my movie 'The Thing' but made it shitty, read my synopsis or script at thethingfromanotherworld.webs.com. 2nd time feds kicked in my door, guns blazing, I told them my gf had shaved a penis in my chest hair, which she really did the night before, they looked and laughed and withdrew their guns out of our faces, I basically saved that crazy ex ponrstar, tattood bitch's life with my wittiness and her stupid art project she did on me when she was bored. Plus, having a lifesize darth maul figurine at the foot of my bed didn't really solidify to these saps I was a real serial murderer. I'm a handyman and can do just about anything, I'm currently building a movie set for my next silly video. I type 100 words a minute. I'm great with my mind, hands and dignity and I apply those things to women. I'm the most compassionate person alive or who has ever lived. I'm a registered rehabber wih the D.N.R. of Indiana. I"m incredible in all sports. I love spending time with someone I love watching movies and going out to eat, just waiting on that right girl. I have a bachelor's in English, and an associates from Minneapolis in Art instruction, but I'm happy with being a loser, being poor and having no future, I'm just trying to manage every day on this shitty planet, being a very lonely wise thing. I've been to California a dozen times in the last 2 years and not for vacation or my own accord (long story). I'm VERY down to earth and give great advice. If I could go to Chipotle daily I would, but I have no girl in my life, no significant other, no waddling penguin, no friend to hold my hand. i do like a girl alot, but i realize how fucked up i am, sometimes i don't even want to get out of bed, i'd need her to understand what its like to be lonesome and depressed, i really miss holding someone. we're all doomed to die, it sucks, i'm just trying to make my life as comfortable as possible with the little means i have, hopefully they'll put me on mental disability and i can continue my writing without having to work shit jobs to make ends meet, or save for a date with a girl and it never happens anyways go to a few of my sites myspace.com/andyp6 or Andy's Facebook link is below, its facebook.com/boathopper i have a new myspace account but rarely use it

clivedavinci: i don’t know why i laughed so hard at this lol, its so stupid, the dude is just standing there like he’s awesome n shit and the other fags are doing stupid ass shit, god man i wish i knew cool ass people like this, so we can just do dumb shit all the time, god i’d have a billion videos, all awesome too, i watched it without sound though, its 20 times better, i’m hanging out with my nieces and nephew, i guess gym the next 3 days around a normal hour like 4, thank god the fucks at murray’s had my cyclinder, they ordered it for tomorrow, the other douches i’d have to wait 4 days, i could go to the junkyard n shit if nothing else, a pound of cheesecake and grilled cheeses later here i sit, feeling so fucking fat as fuck, i wish i had a girlfriend to have some kinda routine with and eat better, i’d be a lean sexmachine all her girlfriends would wanna fuck really hard, i’d be a dilf, a hot dad n shit, but i don’t have a baby in my life, so fuck that noise, god i ate some much, these faggots didn’t eat all their food so i ate the leftovers n shit, i’m literally not even gonna eat all day tomorrow man, maybe fasting can give me some hope at loosing weight, slurp, dude, here, right now, is the best experience you could imagine, i dl’d problem child 2 because the kids never saw it, and art is here too, and his laughs are cdrazy as fuck, and he’s enjoying this shit more than these brats, ahliyah just giggled looking over at me, not laughing at the movie, but laughing at art’s laugh n shit and how nuts he gets at the smartass comments ‘junior’ makes to the bullies in school in this movie

(via davidisbeyonce)

hplyrikz:

I can relate to this

clivedavinci: no i actually really feel liike fucking dying man, seriously, and do you think my boss would give me a ride where i’d like to go or some shit, fuck no, and i don’t know anybody else, nobody gives a shit, when i told him angrily why’d he order all that shit that i now have to pay for, he just said ‘what do you really need money for?’ what the fuck does that even mean? what’s it supposed to mean? its like i’m supposed to be enslaved here, wtih chains around my neck n shit, i’ve been working for this dude 20 plus years, he fucked carlos’ back up, which he still wears backbraces to this day, because my boss made us carry a fucking pool table down fleights of stairs when we were 14yrs old n shit, and then, he paid us in candy bars lol, and not even more than a couple n shit, the brakes still go all the way down, so it must be the cylinder, something i can do in no time too, but fucking autozone don’t have shit, oh fuck i forgot there’s like murrays and advance i can call, its getting late maybe i can still get it fixed, get to the gym, if not i’m fucked, 2 to 4 days, fuck my life man, fuck it

sex-thrill:

my blog will make you horny ;)

clivedavinci: i’ve forgotten what it feels like to take a woman, to be perpendicular at one moment and then in bed the next, or on a floor, or our bodies denting on the mash of the stairs, i miss love,i miss fucking someone i love, i miss making love with someone i love, its the only real kinda love i’ve ever had, my first 2 girlfriends were more of a fling, and i hadn’t anyone in my sights at those times, kinda ‘setup’ into dating them ya know, but if there was a girl who liked me, i’d never kiss another girl, ever, i’d be faithful to her because maybe i liked her back, maybe i wanted her, and not just forced dating to up my status caliber or some shit, or because i was hot and horny and couldn’t just get myself off, i don’t want my girlfriend someday to think that i ever swapped her, i want her to know that i wait for her, love is mutual, you can’t just be a female and get yourself off all the livelong day n shit, when i’d hang out with strippers n shit and my buddy’s house 2years ago, everyone was giving them the wrong advice, and they jokingly got mad at me, and upset, because one of the girls fucked a dude, her friend, while in a relationship with her boyfriend, and i said ‘oh he gets a freebie then’ like why would they get pouty over that? like you FUCKED another dude man, why is it okay for you and not the dude? i don’t fucking get it, but anyways, that’s like a nightmare in my book, i’m glad i don’t date and fuck that way or like people like that, i’m just different, i want a girl to be mine, where she wants me, she wants to be with me, she thinks of me and has fun with me and stuff, and even kissing is such a horrible thought in the back of my mind for a girl i care about to be doing, sneaking off away from me, even if she’s not ‘with’ me, and i like her, still, its not just a turnoff, if i really care, its like heartwrenching fucking shit ya know, why do people have to ruin it ya know? how does someone ruin love? it happens all over the place, i really do wish i found a girl that mattered, and we went on dates and stuff, and she liked me more and more that we talked and hung out, and someday she told me she loved me, because we both knew it, we both felt it, and both shared it, i miss loving someone man, i miss not having anyone in my life at all, it sucks so bad, i don’t get to satiate my hormones with fucking because i was raised morally to be special and believe in love and not just fap the fuck out of everyone when i saw fit, the first time i had sex was when i was 20, i’d snuck, had my door locked with a girl i took out a few times, but my grandma would knock on the door n shit, and she was like the biggest whore on the planet and she was still concerned what i was doing, and my mom and grandma did the same thing with the next girlfriend a year later, knocking and curious and then i had to open up, even though we were just hanging out, like even though my mom and grandma were trifling whores, they still weren’t scumbags where they’d allow me to have a girl in my room with the door closed, let alone locked, and i was 20, and i was a man, and i worked full time, went to school full time, and i still couldn’t, i was just raised differently, everyone around me were fucking everyone else, but me, i tried to do it the normal way i guess, i wasn’t allowed anyways, i had good parents i guess, a mom and a grandma who loved me, and i’m glad they went the opposite route at raising me, being slutty women, making me unlike them, monogamous and special, unlike my sister they turned into an outright whore, i guess i’m glad i turned out this way, because i’m not into bad shit, drugs and booze and money and all of them tied together don’t go down an unlimited funnel in my throat and in my life to fill spaces of love that i’m missing, i know love intimately, and its all you need in this life, its so special, and i don’t have it, and i hadn’t had it for decades of loneliness, and then one day, after many months of talking, and more months of sex and hanging out with my new friend, she’d told me she loved me, and i already loved her too, so it felt nice to say it back, as she cried in my arms, as i mimicked the tears because it felt so good, it felt like a relief ya know, and now i have nobody and it sucks, and nobody is ever going to come along who’s different either, it blows hard, like johnny cash walks hard…… i was pissed my boss called autozone and they’re like maybe tomorrow n shit, but they just called back again, maybe the anger in my voice registered with them, they probably think its one of this vehicles they annoy him with all day, but i’m a seperate person from my boss, and he had it on speaker phone like a tard, where i hear all his convos n shit and people get pissed at him, maybe they sensed the dire urgency in my anger as i stampled out of the muffler shop pissed, another place we’d taken another dumbass car of his after our day was over, i love driving that fiero because its stickshift and i can get up to 50 in like 5 seconds n shit, i’ve been shoveling sand and pea gravel on and off his truck all fucking day long, suprisingly i didn’t gain muscle or some s hit, i just strained my shoulders and lower back, i guess i’m already strong enough to do that work, i just don’t grown any more, so he went to get the calipers, it’ll take me at least an hour to put both of those fuckers on, i think i’m gonna use my old brake shoes because he raked up hundreds of dollars in parts man and he don’t wanna dock it in small amounts from my pay, which is gay becaues i didn’t ask for all that sh it, what an asshole, actually, he just say something about them being in north hammond, my calipers, and i’m wondering if they hadn’t been there all along, but he manipulated me to stay here, holding me hostage n shit, becuase he does shit like that, not like i can be pissed, the horror of 2 gruelling day sof shit work and nonstop slavery is over with, now i can resume my life, i’m dicing steak and put it in the broiler per his orders while he’s gone, maybe i’ll start trimming my beard to save some time, i’ll probably get to the gym late as fuck, at least 7 or 8 n shit, then i gotta bleed the brakes fast, because if he comes out there to help me, we’ll go through this huge long process and ordeal of one person pumping them and coming out and loosening the screw and all this other shit that’s uneccesary and he’ll waste like another hour of my life n shit fuck, his ladyfriend gave my buttcheeks a shove when i carried it up the ramp as she stopped by one of the properties to see him and then take off, i wish i had a girlfriend to come see me n shit, i wish i can do nice thigns for her, bring her food and stuff, miss not having anyone man

(via call-me-red-wine)

clivedavinci: the baby pig tossed on its momma over and over is so fucking stupid and cute lol, and then later the espionage guys that get attacked by cats and the cats’ reactions where they’re like ‘emmagahhhd, i wanna get in on that shit too bro’, its kinda like modern dating in a way, people see the casual bullshit other people are doing and they wanna get in on that shit too, sick of bitching about not having anybody, there’s countless females, maybe not in my life, but in the world, just gotta step it up a notch is all, it’ll be so good to be home tonight

clivedavinci: why can’t the world give me a girl to love? why do i always have to be betrayed? is it a trial and tribulation to the caliber of my esteemed human existence? that i get knock-kneed and kicked to blows so hard they rattle my bones all the way up vibrating shivers inside my heart? why can’t i cuddle up with a girl i like and fog up my car windows? why can’t we lay warm in bed, in a cool bed where were shake hands and squeeze tight our bodies to make body heat to survive, to make practice scenarios for the future if it ever dies? why does love always die with me? am i that ugly and old and dumb? am i that unimportant? am i that dull? doesn’t anyone out there wanna see me? doesn’t anyone out there wanna know me or talk to me? is there anybody out there? is there a partner in my singular life without humans where we can trace our fingers on a fogged up pane, modern hyerglyphs of sexually perverted depictions that make us laugh stupid? is there a girl who doesn’t want the ordinary grunting huffs of a man, but ‘the’ man? is there a girl who doesn’t want the dragging knuckled hallux digits of a primal caveman fingering her all the time unimportantly? is there a girl that wants just my fingers to rake through her hair huh? is there a girl who wants to rub her cheek across the back of my hand, either days, or moments before we kiss, to tell me in so many ways that she’s longing and waiting for me…but longing…and waiting..for me? why isn’t there a girl who tries for me, where without me, dies without me? why can real love exist someplace? why in the fuck? why do i feel like love’s lone antiquated purveyor? why can’t i be home right now? and why can’t i be home with the girl of my dreams by now? why can’t i be dating and feeling alive? why can’t i be matched up and bandaged up from within the holes of my heart? why does love hurt? and why doesn’t anyone care at all?

clivedavinci: why can’t the world give me a girl to love? why do i always have to be betrayed? is it a trial and tribulation to the caliber of my esteemed human existence? that i get knock-kneed and kicked to blows so hard they rattle my bones all the way up vibrating shivers inside my heart? why can’t i cuddle up with a girl i like and fog up my car windows? why can’t we lay warm in bed, in a cool bed where were shake hands and squeeze tight our bodies to make body heat to survive, to make practice scenarios for the future if it ever dies? why does love always die with me? am i that ugly and old and dumb? am i that unimportant? am i that dull? doesn’t anyone out there wanna see me? doesn’t anyone out there wanna know me or talk to me? is there anybody out there? is there a partner in my singular life without humans where we can trace our fingers on a fogged up pane, modern hyerglyphs of sexually perverted depictions that make us laugh stupid? is there a girl who doesn’t want the ordinary grunting huffs of a man, but ‘the’ man? is there a girl who doesn’t want the dragging knuckled hallux digits of a primal caveman fingering her all the time unimportantly? is there a girl that wants just my fingers to rake through her hair huh? is there a girl who wants to rub her cheek across the back of my hand, either days, or moments before we kiss, to tell me in so many ways that she’s longing and waiting for me…but longing…and waiting..for me? why isn’t there a girl who tries for me, where without me, dies without me? why can real love exist someplace? why in the fuck? why do i feel like love’s lone antiquated purveyor? why can’t i be home right now? and why can’t i be home with the girl of my dreams by now? why can’t i be dating and feeling alive? why can’t i be matched up and bandaged up from within the holes of my heart? why does love hurt? and why doesn’t anyone care at all?

(via younggandnaivee)

clivedavinci: every girl in the world leaps and hops and then in their faggot minds the count countless sheep in their leaps and hops, enunciated as hopes and fantasies when they dream, but i’m the lone leaping sheep amongst all the dreams, fantasies hops and bops who’s fucking shredding yo shit up, i’m the needle in the haystack that no gnawing llama wants to pitstop for a bit and find and chew to find, chewing on my lips when we could be making out, instead the clubhoppers and the penisboppers hop across the places where the needle is but they’re just stupid and bippity boppity fine with passing that needle over and getting a single straw stuck to their leg and carried along with them, or maybe even attached to their assholes as dingleberries or sweaty snatch pouches where the straw stick lands upright inside it giving them a brief jolting pain of a stab, ladies of earth, i don’t stick you with a tiny dick, i fill you with a large warm cock, and i fill you within with my love to, just wonder where there aren’t any lame ass bitches, like where are good girls at man? fuck, i’m outta here, just thinking of going to starbucks and peeping out the average nicely dressed college girl slash/ slut, just depresses me, even the bookworms in there, like, they’r eprobably closet fornicators n shit, where’s the nerdy bitch in the world who’s jackin it all day at home? no, i’m so sure every girl has to have a literal, virtual dick in their hand and life, fucking retarded, even the gnarliest fucking people have boyfriends & girlfriends n shit, the biggest nobodies and geeks and scumbags n shit, no wonder i dont want any part of all that shit, that dating realm shit, god that shit is boring, the world bores me, i’m just talking away nonsense, but i can shit out more interesting worlds and promises to a someday girlfriend, but i will not be with her no way no how, if she’s a kissing booth employee n shit, sorry i don’t have herpes insurance n shit, and even if bitches don’t get shit off the dicks that all those asses of other girls that their dicks’ve been inside, i still don’t need reminder insurance of how popular a bitch is n shit, um„, eww

clivedavinci: every girl in the world leaps and hops and then in their faggot minds the count countless sheep in their leaps and hops, enunciated as hopes and fantasies when they dream, but i’m the lone leaping sheep amongst all the dreams, fantasies hops and bops who’s fucking shredding yo shit up, i’m the needle in the haystack that no gnawing llama wants to pitstop for a bit and find and chew to find, chewing on my lips when we could be making out, instead the clubhoppers and the penisboppers hop across the places where the needle is but they’re just stupid and bippity boppity fine with passing that needle over and getting a single straw stuck to their leg and carried along with them, or maybe even attached to their assholes as dingleberries or sweaty snatch pouches where the straw stick lands upright inside it giving them a brief jolting pain of a stab, ladies of earth, i don’t stick you with a tiny dick, i fill you with a large warm cock, and i fill you within with my love to, just wonder where there aren’t any lame ass bitches, like where are good girls at man? fuck, i’m outta here, just thinking of going to starbucks and peeping out the average nicely dressed college girl slash/ slut, just depresses me, even the bookworms in there, like, they’r eprobably closet fornicators n shit, where’s the nerdy bitch in the world who’s jackin it all day at home? no, i’m so sure every girl has to have a literal, virtual dick in their hand and life, fucking retarded, even the gnarliest fucking people have boyfriends & girlfriends n shit, the biggest nobodies and geeks and scumbags n shit, no wonder i dont want any part of all that shit, that dating realm shit, god that shit is boring, the world bores me, i’m just talking away nonsense, but i can shit out more interesting worlds and promises to a someday girlfriend, but i will not be with her no way no how, if she’s a kissing booth employee n shit, sorry i don’t have herpes insurance n shit, and even if bitches don’t get shit off the dicks that all those asses of other girls that their dicks’ve been inside, i still don’t need reminder insurance of how popular a bitch is n shit, um„, eww

(via pariah-messiah)

clivedavinci: andyp’s short films - halloween carrie cujo carnie culo dandrian. it was a time around halloween, my friends were connected at the shoulders as the same person, which was fine, but i’d liked my friend, we liked each other, and it ended up going hogwash, because in actuality it was like there were 4 heads, both my friends, their 2 heads, but then her additional 2 heads, one going towards me, one going towards any other dick, fuck that bro

clivedavinci: i’m gonna stop preaching to girls in the world that don’t care or are fucking retarded anyways, because you’re forgetting cameron diaz and jlo and snooki and madonna have turned this modern world into slutty assholes who go around swapping spit with every dude, and slobbering their knobs, all in good cutesy funs n shit, i’m so glad i’m not a young person, i’m so glad i’m not a typical person, and i’m so glad i’m not a slimeball, and don’t get me wrong here…any kind of person can be a slimeball, it could be a wallstreet exectuvie lady in a suit who’s college educated, but while she’s sucking on dicks, she isn’t really anything other than a slimeball ya know, the world is filled with countless people, they’re all banging into each other like bumper cars, i have never lived my life checking out hot pussy and then fuckin it, i’m a man, i may think like that or joke around like that at times, but i don’t actually do it, i’m not the concensus on our population, i’m different, i don’t want what everyone wants, and no matter what i end up wanting, in a person, i don’t want it anymore, once t hey show me how fucking generic they can be, just like everyone else, because a dick was there and idling and jostling stiff like a flag pole in a breeze, i don’t want normal girls, again, i’m different, and i wants someone different, if she exists, okay, if it takes forever to find her, okay, but she’s gonna be the only one i end up wanting, i’m here, i’m lonely, i could be touching and holding her all the time, and i don’t get to, girls in this world are fucking other dudes, playing footsies with them, getting on tippies with them in pics and beanies and smirks and tattoos n shit, i’m sick of essentially ‘teaching’ the differnce between the idea of love, and the idea of ‘hey asshole slutbag why are you a douchebag?’, like i’m sick of teaching failing students n shit that get negative eff’s, F minuses n shit, F minus minus, nobody in this world is even barely passing with a dee, because she’d be getting this dee, i’m fucking sick of bitching and moaning, it bores the literal fuck out of me, yeah it gets me sad and depressed just thinking shit, but i mainly just DON’T GIVE A FUCK anymore, and i DON’T GIVE A FUUUUUUCK about the just humans out there in the world just doing their thang n shit, if i wanted to be seperated from someone i loved, i’d be a typical family asshole and marry a bitch so she can change drapes in my house every other month filling in voids to her misery, then i’d shit out kids, then divorce, so that i’d get to see someone i once loved every weekend and torture myself, like, that’s what i’d fucking do, like everyone else, or i’d like someone so much, torture myself, give chase, yearn and cry and kiss and squeeze my pillow between my legs thinking about her, and then i’d be like ‘okie dokie sweetums, go right on ahead without me’, i didn’t dump dani, but i almost ‘coulda’ dated her, we were hanging out all the time, we had fun, we were all faggots together, they’re just friends now, who i rarely even see, her and adrien, but, the idea that we could’ve been together, or at least tried, someone who’s fucking hot, cool, and who i know, became nothingn at all but a fluke, we held hands in a haunted house, her friends all over me nonstop trying to cop feels and be protected, but i would always seek my fingers to hers in the dark like a trees roots finding water, what gave me life, so after such a great time, where i saved her from monsters, and we held each other the entire way, she goes off with some scumbags, i don’t even care if they weren’t scumbags, if they were just college boys all cute and good mannered, like, you swapped me, when your friends were all over me, i sought you out, t hey ambushed me, and she did nothing, she didn’t claim her man, but she told me to ‘go ahead’ and i was like wtf, what the fuck am i gonna do alone? while you 2 fags go check out creeps from the barrio in their 40’s n shit, i hated it like you couldn’t imagine, i was abandoned, at after such a great promising time, it was the worst, i don’t know why i went out one more time after that, where she kinda tried to get close to me when i dropped her off, to kiss me, but i don’t know why i even cared for her romantically, maybe because we talked month after month and laughed n shit, then she’s cozy with my friends online, sending nudes n shit, she was everything in my mind, and became a piece of shit, she’s just a friend now, i respect her and she’s cool but we’ll never be an item, its long over, so imagine, if i liked a girl, someone i DIDN’T get to hang out, someone i DIDN’T get conversate with online and in person, and someone to is making out with dudes n shit? fucking dudes n shit? like you have no chance at all, its over, its why i’m trying to find someone who’s great in the world, a lonely bookworm who doesn’t have time for boys because she’s studying, i’d make all the time in the world for her, around her schedule, kissing her while she’s reading, i’ll put a vid if i can remember after this reblog, about that very experience that sucked my balls, and its a reminder at the of idea of dating and love, fuck love, do you think i can’t fuck someone i’m into? its so easy, you play the rules n shit, i don’t wanna play those rules, i don’t wanna play the rules of love either, i do it all differently, fuck everyone else

(via aquify)

cute-overload:

The face of Happiness !!http://cute-overload.tumblr.com


clivedavinci: why can’t i have a girl who loves me? who takes baths with me? who pants like this out of breath from all the fucking we’d do, quick little breathes she’d take in her little huffing and puffing like she’s the big bad wolf, but i would be the big bad wolf, she’d be my little red riding hood, i’d give her my beastly big cock, i don’t mind its fur, i’m lazy and ungroomed right now, i’m not a douchebag that needs to mangroom every five seconds and design ‘yo girl’ in lettering in my pubes n shit to have fun teen sex n shit, so she can be reading while she’s sucking my cock because it’d be the most boring thing on her schedule, my dick is exciting, my dick is the stick of meat that will give her desires and life longevity, she’ll always be wet and soaking in a tub of her own juices, we’d sweat like chinese children in a forced labor camp on a humid day, she’d be my rubber ducky fucky, she wouldn’t be getting lucy by way of sex, she’d be getting lucky when it came to being loved, because when i find my baby, and make a life with just her, we’ll never have the desire to open up a fortune cookie ever again, we will’ve already gotten the dream, i wanna be livin the dream

cute-overload:

The face of Happiness !!
http://cute-overload.tumblr.com

clivedavinci: why can’t i have a girl who loves me? who takes baths with me? who pants like this out of breath from all the fucking we’d do, quick little breathes she’d take in her little huffing and puffing like she’s the big bad wolf, but i would be the big bad wolf, she’d be my little red riding hood, i’d give her my beastly big cock, i don’t mind its fur, i’m lazy and ungroomed right now, i’m not a douchebag that needs to mangroom every five seconds and design ‘yo girl’ in lettering in my pubes n shit to have fun teen sex n shit, so she can be reading while she’s sucking my cock because it’d be the most boring thing on her schedule, my dick is exciting, my dick is the stick of meat that will give her desires and life longevity, she’ll always be wet and soaking in a tub of her own juices, we’d sweat like chinese children in a forced labor camp on a humid day, she’d be my rubber ducky fucky, she wouldn’t be getting lucy by way of sex, she’d be getting lucky when it came to being loved, because when i find my baby, and make a life with just her, we’ll never have the desire to open up a fortune cookie ever again, we will’ve already gotten the dream, i wanna be livin the dream

(via pariah-messiah)

clivedavinci: picked excerpts to the song ‘faces’ by namnambulu i just put in my tumblr player

I once used to be just like you
I used to care for things that didn’t matter
And I wouldn’t mind what I do
I would still believe that things got better

But there came a day when all this changed
Where all of my life was rearranged
Without a warning or a sign
Taken away what once was mine :(

I don’t really know why I’m here
Maybe there is someone who can tell me
There are days when I see so clear
When I know what people think around me

Even if I do not know their names
I can sense all their pains
All of the dreams they have inside
All of the fears they try to hide

Don’t try, don’t waste your time
Long before you feel it
It will start to blow your mind
Decide before you grow old
If you want to get there, be there
Stay where you where told

… well, i just want someone to stay where they’re told, just in my life is all, a special girl who doesn’t limit herself in general, except in the ways when it comes to having me, deciding before you grow old is such a fleeting and sad thing to think about, because we’re all dying, we could at any day, ‘smack’ by a truck, congestive heart failure, a meteorite, who knows, and if we’re lucky we’ll stick around, and adhere with our stickiness to partners and patrons and excusees in our lives, people that ask for the door eventually, they make their escapes and exits, but i wanna grow old right away, not right away physically, but mentally, i wish i would’ve had the wisdom i do now about like when i was a young stud, i wish i knew what actually mattered, things, and flings don’t, they do matter in fact, to the person who’s heart you’re breaking i guess, but i wanna be ahead of the game in life, check off this miserable love shit, and get to producing and focusing on other, happier things, stephen king had tabitha his entire life, i’ve done more than him, with my hands tied, with hardships, could you imagine what i can achieve if i had my best friend already found and in my life, to hold me, to make her life happier which makes me happy, but ladies, don’t think i’m looking at love productively only, or i guess you can, because the love i’ll produce for you will be blockbuster, i wanna find someone in my life, no matter the cold, or lonely days, that they’ll feel warm inside, inside the windows to our bodies, our souls will be warm, and we can cuddle and escape in our bed together with nobody else on our minds

(via housewifeswag)

typac:

this mixtape gonna be too tuff

clivedavinci: god man my fucking hand hurts so bad, this left one i just hold still on my keyboard, pointing away with my pointer on the little space thing and clicking the button, i wish i had a stable life where i could use a mouse, but hell, even if i set something up at my place, still i always wanna use my laptop in bed all comfy n shit, there’d be constant entanglement issues with a mouse n shit, or maybe if i pick upu another bigger stand with a wider top to set my laptop where there’d be space enough for a mouse i guess, look at me, talking aloud, oh me, for the hell of it, ya know, i’m just all shits and giggles, this guy is falling asleep sitting up watching some gay ass mob show n shit, i wish the fucker would go upstairs already so i can lay on this couch, fuckin retard, he’s always like ‘what’s that tapping? is it raining outside?’ he asks me that like 20 times, and i’m not shitting you, and he’s not cleverly trying to suggest that he can hear me typing and its bothering him, he actually forgets and is just that dumb n shit, and i have to say, ‘no man i’m typing’ and he’s like ‘oh’, and i think ‘derp’, and he interupts me every 10 seconds as i’m typing, even if he’s watching something he’s into, to ask me some bullshit question about wood or nails or some shit, or angles of a roof, it can be any kind of building question, about nothing, where he doesn’t even need my input, he just needs me to say ‘yeah’ or needs someone to spray his faggetry towards, he’s so gay man god, sometimes its realy annoying man, especially if he gets mad that i’m not watching bonanza with him or some shit, like i wanna live my own life man, is that fucking okay dickweed?

typac:

this mixtape gonna be too tuff

clivedavinci: god man my fucking hand hurts so bad, this left one i just hold still on my keyboard, pointing away with my pointer on the little space thing and clicking the button, i wish i had a stable life where i could use a mouse, but hell, even if i set something up at my place, still i always wanna use my laptop in bed all comfy n shit, there’d be constant entanglement issues with a mouse n shit, or maybe if i pick upu another bigger stand with a wider top to set my laptop where there’d be space enough for a mouse i guess, look at me, talking aloud, oh me, for the hell of it, ya know, i’m just all shits and giggles, this guy is falling asleep sitting up watching some gay ass mob show n shit, i wish the fucker would go upstairs already so i can lay on this couch, fuckin retard, he’s always like ‘what’s that tapping? is it raining outside?’ he asks me that like 20 times, and i’m not shitting you, and he’s not cleverly trying to suggest that he can hear me typing and its bothering him, he actually forgets and is just that dumb n shit, and i have to say, ‘no man i’m typing’ and he’s like ‘oh’, and i think ‘derp’, and he interupts me every 10 seconds as i’m typing, even if he’s watching something he’s into, to ask me some bullshit question about wood or nails or some shit, or angles of a roof, it can be any kind of building question, about nothing, where he doesn’t even need my input, he just needs me to say ‘yeah’ or needs someone to spray his faggetry towards, he’s so gay man god, sometimes its realy annoying man, especially if he gets mad that i’m not watching bonanza with him or some shit, like i wanna live my own life man, is that fucking okay dickweed?

(via jagerbombsandtacobell)

clivedavinci: and i’m going backwards in life, i’m eating a piece of cheesecake afterall bruh fml, you can never trust a skinny chef, so i must be a great cook and baker, i go backwards because i know what love is, that’s why i go backwards when it comes to my diet, the base state of my fatcells is driven by sadness man, my fat speak to me and says ‘andy, what’s the point of looking hot, if you’re hot and you can’t be in love? like what is the fucking point?’ and my rationalising mind wins everytime, because it has allies, my fat rolls n shit, all i really wanna do is live like an old lady man, an old cat lady, not too many cats, a couple, that really need a home, or maybe if i had a farm or something i’d neuter and spay dozens and dozens and have an outside pen for them to shit outside, give them acres n shit but fence it in, give them an eden, save them from the gas chamber, and they can have the world’s largest shitbox, like a literaly sandy beach shore to shit on, maybe close to a pond where waves could cleanse it away, and the the bubbled leftover of catshit on the pond could be eaten by ducks and geese that can be happy and free, and i’d teach my cats no if they try to hurt each other or any other creatures, they’d have no idea how lucky they’d be, i’d be a god to them, but at the same time too much spoiling rottens the child, just look at spoiled crissy my ex, her parents spoiled her, and i spoiled her and she becaem the largest whore on the internet and then in real life there ever had been, i wanna live like an old lady because all i wanna do is do regular sweet things in life, go to see movies with any and all family that i have in my life, with my baby by my side, her family too, i just wanna go eat and do simple shit, both my bosses do shit with me, gomez i enjoy his company, he’s a smart good person, although my other boss frank, my uncle is a good person (kinda) he’s not very smart, gomez will go to chicago with me sometimes to see classical music and eat, or family shit, or just hanging out having a drink with louie or herbie james, and he gets along with all people, not just people of a certain color n shit, and my boss frank wants to go out to bluetop, or hooters, or rodney’s to see chicks n shit, with the disguise of gettin a pizza or a burger, i don’t wanna be sleazy, even if its with another friend who was more sane, i still don’t wanna, i wanna do simple shit, remember, i’m an old cat lady at heart, i’m a lover, a sweetheart, i’m cute, and dainty, and i just want someone to hold my hand like a walker so i don’t fall and break a hip, but this grandma will kick yo ass bitches, and when it comes to his little old cat lady gradma he finds to love someday, he’s going to be the strong pappy and lift her to safety all the time, she’ll never need a walker in her later years approaching centigenarian because i’d just carry my baby around, like the large guy from game of thrones who carries around the prince n shit, the cultured concept of an oaf helping the weak, like from the dark tower series, i think in this book i’m reading that i hadn’t gotten to yet, because there’s this black chick he’s chosen that don’t have any legs, and when my sister and i were on punishment in my moms room in our old house on monroe, when we were too loud and she was trying to catch up on much needed cop’s shiftwork sleep, she’d read to us for a half hour or hour, as we’re in the dimmed dark room, where she has a booklight on her bed reading us wastelands dark tower 3, we’d have to stand most times too, and in the corner, and turned around, and eventually we’d fall asleep and she could conk out right after, sometimes we woudn’t be punished, we’d just lay in the bed and listen, one time lizzy was in the dark crawling around making faint sniffles i guess in the middle of the night unexpected, crawling from one end of the room to the other, like a demonic exorcist creature or some shit and my mom pulled her 357 out under the pillow and was about to blow her away, finally she found the lightswitch first, she told me this story just years ago when i was a man, my mom has horrible nightmares and wakes up seeing 7 foot silhouetted men standing over her n shit taking her breath away, she has sleep apnea now, which half of it is retardation, anyone can loose sleep n shit, when i was really overweight i had teh shit too, i mean how could my heart breath being that big man? now she sleeps like darth vader in his chambers n shit, she’d read the gunslinger because he was the last of his kind i guess, teaching us morals in fun ways because my sister and i were both retarded individualas, how rolland would travel the wastelands doing good deeds and blowing suckers away eastwood style n shit, and guess what my next project is? my buddy art may seem a bit off kilter, but i’m goig to direct him so good, and have such a great wardrobe and such great props, and actors even if its just a few, and have the perfect location, that i’m going to fucking WIN at getting to direct these long awaited dark tower flicks man, i know it, whether art will be casted or not, i’ll make it believable, he’s rugged, ruff and tough and bizarre looking enough to be a twinner of a human being anyways, its just directing, and each time i tell art my ideas and for him to keep an eye out for wasteland type locations where we can shoot, all he does is keep talking about getting permission in chicago to shoot samurai movies n shit, so i guess i’m going to have a challenging directorial time here man and trying to get him to do the right shit, and i’m going to make my friend dan borders the young kid from the first book maybe, we’ll see if he can play someone else though i’m still reading these fucking books, i’m not some huge fan, they’re great, but its not where my heart is, but, i think i have a creative approach and idea at not only getting the films made finally but to be the one who does it, wouldn’t that be awesome? do you know how FEW gunslinger shorts there are? after all this time on top of it? and the ones that exist cost tens or hundreds of thousands to make, with every appliyable production access at their disposals, and they all suck, its because they’re just fans, and sometimes, in the horror realm, since its easy to make horror films, there’ll be something really great made, like that ‘absentia’ movie, but still, even they are very rare, they still cost a shitload to make, and they’re still underlined with geeky fandom directing, i’m beyond all that shit, and i’ll do it practically for free, maybe even before decemeber if i get my disablity shit

(via convivial-cassadia)

merelei:

aliens-ate-my-mum:

Showing my favourite movie to my friends
image

This gif is so appropriate in so many ways I love it so much!

clivedavinci: god man, its gonna take me forever to save all these reblog images from the last day or two man, i wonder the dumb shit i say, surely there’s an infinatetesmally amount of mispellings n shit and shit that doesn’t end up making any sense, i just type too fast is all, shit is jumbling in my brain like lottery balls in a box, and then sometimes you don’t get a winning ball when it curves out the hole, and when you have balls in your holes ladies, when its regular men and boys, then you’ll NEVER be a fucking winner in life, andyp is the lottery though bitch, but fuck the lot of you, the ones on earth, for real doe, i’m eating some of this chilli dip that this asshole made last night, from having such a sugar craving after this prick made me make a cheesecake, which i just went to retreat to in sadness, i’d forgotten that i left a huge slop of it in the bowl and licked away, off the beaters and everything, this guy doesn’t have anything else in his fridge except blocks of mozareela n s hit, but what am i gonna do eat cheese sandwiches n shit?, i would love to, but my intake of sugars is horrible, so i’m gonna try and cut out all breads in my life and just eat corn tortillas n shit, fuck carbs completely, i already have a weakness at sugars, but still, if i can remember and be strong willed enough, fuck sugars too, and i gotta keep running my mile at the gym and not puss out and do half or think i’ll be sweaty and smelly n shit, who cares, i’m there to sweat man, i’m not there anymore to look for love, fuck those kinds of people, they don’t talk, they all think they’re matcho, and they’re a bunch of buttholes, this girl friend of mine blocked me the other day, i think it was her, but it might be a guy n shit, don’t know that person’s issues but they blocked me, and they were the one nagging me for something, so dumb, i don’t hate nagging as much as i hate people that block me and all for no fucking reason but their own, you can be the weirdest or most sexual person with me that you want, but if you block me or unfriend me, i’ll think you’re the biggest fucking weirdo on the planet man, earlier today i cooked two hotdogs in a bowl and drowned them in mustard, i even cutback on the ketchup that isn’t simply heinz that’s without high fructose corn syrup, i know hot dogs are bad, but they’re even worse bunned, i maybe lazy when it comes to nutrition because i’m fat and hungry and bored and lonely andheartbroken, but i do make a consciencious effort in little ways ya know, a little slice here and there makes a difference, for as much as i’m getting fucked already ya know, same with love man, i get fucked but i keep holding onto that true love concept man, i just wish it woudn’t be on a drawing board as this theorized prototype kind of idea, i wish there was a brilliant biologist girl with a doctorate out there who shared in my knowledge ya know, where is my smart little girl?

(via marylin-monbitch)

discodick:

sixpenceee:

PREHISTORIC SHARK: MEGALODON

Megalodon is an extinct species of shark that lived 1.5 million years ago and as you can probably tell from the above pictures it was HUGE, here are some few facts

  • It’s teeth were over 7 inches long
  • It’s bite can deliver from 10.2-18.6 tons of force, enough to crush a prehistoric whale’s skull like a grape
  • It feasted on prehistoric whales, dolphins, squids, fish, and even giant turtles 
  • It’s fossils have been found all over the world
  • No one knows why it went extinct

SOURCE

That last fact is the scariest fact

clivedavinci: regular man’s heart size, brain size and penis size.. and then andyp’s yo

(via immortalalien)

clivedavinci: when i see shit like this its a depressant, its like that booze bottle in a way, and if i’m at starbucks lonely typing away anyways i might enunciate something sweet or romantic because i yearn for a day like this, and a lifetime like this even more, but i’m not at starbucks, i’m here, so i’ll take my depression and feed its rage with a cheesecake break i guess, because fuck the world and fuck love and fuck the way my heart feels right now all bludgeoned up…my sister named the kid, a boy, poindexter like a faggot, well at least with that nerdy name he might grow up normal and smart instead of like his moms n shit, wanna be gangbangin’ ,drug usin’, dicksuckin’, cat killin hoebag, hell, my other 2 nieces and nephew still have a good shot at not becoming like their mother, a tiny chance, but they’re still good young kids yet, maybe i can make my future better for them to retreat to, even if i don’t have much in my future, at least i won’t be my fwanky and boss you around all day n shit and bitch and yell chores in your face n shit, at least you could just chillax, i’m the most underbearing man you’ll ever know, i don’t care about anything, but when it comes to love and finding a girl in my life i guess i do care about everything, i care about the important stuff, not the fluff in life

(via lavender-shadows)